I remember once explaining to my husband the principles of non-violent communication, hoping that it would offer us a way to express disagreement without immediately lapsing into a stormy argument. He could have read the book I bought too. Or he could even – what a mad idea! – have taken the initiative, acknowledged that we never manage to resolve our arguments satisfactorily, and come up with some kind of solution himself. But that’s never what happens. I’m the one who shoulders the entire emotional burden of the relationship. That’s what women do, because in a heterosexual relationship it’s
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