She started looking for secure partners. It took time. She’d go out with someone new and complain that they were “boring.” When I dug deeper, I discovered this usually meant the person was being nice to her. For example, she told a guy with whom she’d been on two dates that she was visiting Seattle the next weekend. He then sent her a list of restaurant recommendations. When she told me that story, she ended by saying: “And that’s why I never want to see him again.” “Wait, what?” I said. “He clearly likes me way too much. It’s pathetic.” I did my best to help her see the situation differently.
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