Women and Other Monsters: Building a New Mythology

by Jess Zimmerman

User MonkeyToes summed it up: The foundation and fertilizer of unequal emotional labor is “the expectation that women will be naturally, effortlessly skilled at 1) keeping track of what’s important to family members, friends of the family, work colleagues; 2) having antennae out for others’ invisible and subtle expectations/missives/tone/frequency of contact/mood/needs; 3) noticing entropy and taking note of potential problems; 4) acting as a fixer-facilitator-logistics coordinator; 5) making things comfortable/easy/nonthreatening for others; while 6) doing this on an unpaid basis; 7) doing this on an unnoticed basis; 8) being mocked and/or gaslighted for mentioning the existence of all of this as work, and as exhausting; 9) being called nags and told to lower our standards, because we notice so much; and 10) feeling like we are failing at ‘being in charge of everyone’s happiness.’” If that was tiring to read, consider how exhausting