The Secrets of Us

by Lucinda Berry

“She said Aiden deserved to die because he was a murderer.”

“Maybe you don’t know what happened last night, but we do.” Marlene’s lips curl with anger, and her eyes fill with disgust as Janice tries to pull her away from me. “I always told Aiden he shouldn’t marry her. Not with where you girls came from,” she spits out. “Nothing but poor white trash. Both of you.”

There’s only one thing I know for sure—Aiden’s family can’t be trusted. We’re not in this tragedy together.

It wasn’t her fault she was allergic to the poison in the bottles she drank from or that she got those terrible headaches she needed to take sleepy pills for.

I nodded, but I didn’t need a dresser because I didn’t have any things. My mom didn’t believe in me having things. She said they were only one more thing to grow attached to and lose.

A large whiteboard hangs on the wall beside him. I quickly spot Fischer with the notations 1x1 and SI next to it. What do the characters mean? I can’t decipher the code.

Most people are uncomfortable when presented with silence and automatically start talking just to fill up the space, but not me. I can sit in silence for days if I need to.

our lives depend on us keeping that summer a secret. I hate lying, but sometimes there’s no other choice.

Whitney and the HIT girls rule our school. They named themselves and won’t tell anyone outside of their circle what the acronym stands for. The teachers either play along with them or look the other way.

I’m a freakishly obsessive reader. I can easily plow through two books a day if I have the time. All summer long I wait for people’s garage sales to finish so I can swoop in on all the unsold boxes of books they give away at the end.

What will Veronica do? It’s an impossible question to answer because you never know what she’ll do or when she’ll strike. Everything they do to her at school she takes out on us at home like it’s somehow our fault she doesn’t fit in.

She’s done it again, but I always hope that this time the door will open when I twist the knob.

Krystal will find me. She always does. I just have to wait.

I’ve never understood people who aren’t friends with their siblings as adults. How do you survive childhood together and not grow an intimacy unlike any other? But then I remember. Not everyone’s like us.

How is that possible? Nichole has walked three miles every morning for the last ten years. She even does it on vacation and when she’s sick, and her backyard is her personal sanctuary. And then it hits me like a sucker punch to the gut. What if Aiden or someone else was keeping her trapped inside? What if the fire was the only way for her to get out?

“He’s turning into different people to play tricks on me,” she whispers into my ear.

“Shhh.” She brings her finger up to her lips. “He’s sitting right there. He’ll hear you.”

The nearest person is a morbidly obese woman sitting three tables over. Her swollen belly is pushed up against the table, and she wears a huge necklace on her chest that’s strung with pictures of babies cut out from magazines. I want to get through this experience without ever knowing her story.

“Aiden’s gone. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. He’s gone. They took him.”

She freezes. Her eyes skirt the room. “He’s playing tricks on me. I told you.” “Dr. McGowan?” Her pupils have shrunk. Terror has returned to her eyes. She wildly shakes her head, bringing her fingers up to her mouth to shush me.

What’s he found out about her family? Has he talked to Marlene? I haven’t forgotten about her threatening words.

I’m vehemently opposed to the idea. Except there is one thing—I know how well Nichole lies.

His face is covered in thick white bandages with two small holes for his eyes and a larger one for his mouth. He looks like he’s wearing a padded white ski mask.

“Things kept getting weirder and weirder. She wasn’t herself. She was paranoid. Wouldn’t let me near her. She’d say things like, ‘Get away from me,’ and I never knew if she was talking to me or somebody else. Every noise made her jump. I kept asking her what was wrong, begging her to tell me, but she’d scream at me to get away from her, not to touch her.”

Her personality matches her fiery red hair, exploding like lava when she gets upset.

“She’s got one of the biggest hearts on the planet, and she’d never hurt anyone.” My deceit settles like a cold stone in the pit of my stomach, but I can’t open that box. Not now. The last pieces of our life will come crumbling down. I’ve never been more grateful that our juvenile records are sealed.

Suddenly, Veronica lunges at her and grips her throat in one fist, squeezing tightly. Alice’s eyes bulge in shock and surprise. She lets out a strangled breath, frantically batting at Veronica’s hands. In one swift movement, Veronica shoves her backward and flings her through the opening. One second Alice is in front of us, and in the next second she’s gone, hurtling into the darkness. Alice lets out a bloodcurdling scream as she free-falls, disappearing over the edge.

“If you come near my sister again, I’ll kill you, you sonofabitch, do you hear me?” Her eyes grow to hostile slits. “And this time, I’ll make sure you die.”

“Nichole is suffering from Capgras syndrome.” He says it like it’s two words—cap grass. “It’s a delusional misidentification syndrome where the patient believes a loved one or familiar person has been taken over by an imposter.

“Usually, a person with Capgras syndrome develops it as a defense mechanism to protect themselves or someone they love against information that might hurt them or their relationship in some way. You have to get to the root of what they’re defending against in order to resolve it.”

“You’re having a hard time separating what’s real and what’s not real. You’re believing things that aren’t true.”