The reason my father hadn’t allowed me to have the surgery wasn’t because he didn’t love me. It was because he did. Because Ma had loved me. Because he had just lost her and couldn’t lose me, too. And because, if I’d had it, everything would have been different. Pa would have been different. Melissa would have been different. I would have been different. His choice had molded us, shaped us, defined us. If I’d had the surgery, who we were—and were supposed to be—might never have been.
Difficult choices are inevitable in life, and the consequences of those choices aren't restrained only to those who make them. Just like the millions of families who had to decide whether to stay or whether to go, the rationale-and ramifications-behind these choicces were complex--as was James Baile's decision not to subject his infant daughter to risky surgery.
