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"So, I have a confession," I say, watching for the way she tenses and looks almost guilty already. "Ich kanne eine bischen Deutsch."
“I picked up the pieces in Amsterdam. I tried to give you what they couldn’t, something I knew you wanted, and do you know what you did to me in return, Nash? You broke my fucking heart!”
“I’m sorry shit is complicated, Nash. I’m sorry the last time you were in love, you had your heart broken, but I’m not sorry you are the way you are. And I’m not sorry about anything that’s happened between us, so if you want me to apologize, then you can fuck off.” Leaving him there, I turn away and head back down the hallway that leads to the kitchen, but the moment I reach the room, I stop, frozen in place as I stare at Hanna, who is watching me with wide eyes, heartbreak written all over her face.
“I’m ready for whatever you got. You want a taste, then come get a fucking taste.”
“Don’t leave me,” I pant against his chest. The mess smeared against his belly is now smeared against mine, but I don’t care. I want it. He pauses a moment, putting his arms around me. “Why would I leave you?” I don’t want to answer him because it sounds fucking pathetic to admit, but this is Ellis, and I’m safe with him. “Because everyone fucking leaves me.”
“I’m so sorry,” I sob. “I’m sorry for everything I did to you. You’re the last ones I ever wanted to hurt, and I hurt you so bad.” They squeeze me tighter. Then the blindfold is pulled back and I squeeze my eyes closed, but the room is dim, almost pitch black. Still, I can see them. Hanna is quick to wipe my tears while Ellis brushes my hair out of my face. “There you are,” he whispers. “I love you,” I say before I can stop myself. Before the fear crawls back in to censor me from saying the things I should have said a long time ago, and I hope they know I mean the both of them. I love the way
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Sometimes things have to be broken before they can be truly whole again.
