The Final Girl Support Group
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Started reading May 19, 2025
1%
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Amanda, True love is putting someone else, Before yourself. Which is why I thought, You should walk across that ice, Before me.
2%
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I’m awake for five full minutes before remembering I might die today.
3%
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The killer’s got a chainsaw/boat hook/butcher’s knife and this girl’s got zip: no upper body strength, no mass, no shotgun. All she’s got is good cardio and an all-American face.
4%
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A cotton ball sheep says, Jesus Loves Ewe!
4%
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Apparently, today’s argument will be about snacks.
8%
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Men don’t have to pay attention the way we do. Men die because they make mistakes. Women? We die because we’re female.
13%
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No matter how many times she shot her boyfriend he kept making stupid quips.
13%
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Everyone loves a comeback queen.
14%
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Sally called her an inspiration. Julia looked her dead in the eye and said, “Then why don’t you get inspired to put in some goddamn wheelchair ramps around here.”
25%
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“Sometimes you need the money more than you need to live with yourself.”
25%
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“But you don’t have to look at a guy selling his jizz online,”
26%
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“You had a gun in my car?” he asks in disbelief. “In my bag,” I say. “Was it pointed at me?” “No,” I lie.
32%
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Heather is a bundle of wire coat hangers squeezed into jeans that are more rip than jean,
34%
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“Now,” she says. “I’ve had my second cup of coffee. Tell me why you think everyone is trying to kill us.”
77%
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Out here in the country no one thinks to put up street signs or house numbers. If you have to ask, you don’t belong. I hate the country.