The Slob

by Aron Beauregard

He must have enjoyed them… were they his pets? I certainly was. I was the pet of a vicious psychopath and surrounded by the repellant reincarnations of my dirty past.

There were many children that were not as fortunate and couldn’t yet grasp how social settings and ruthless pecking orders functioned. If they found out that you smelled, or if you were dumber than everyone else, you were done for. Because right when they found out, the first thing they did was exploit it for their entertainment.

The undeniable appalling comprehension that death couldn’t be spellbound and contorted to appease her. There was no way to tame or beckon it with total accuracy, no, it was only the malicious shrouded skeleton that could beckon you. Mr. Bones wasn’t quite ready yet.

But that was life, sometimes you had to laugh, otherwise, you’d only cry.

I loved how he made things incredibly easy for me, especially the most difficult things.

“If you had to guess, taking into account your own experience with him, where do you think he might’ve sewn my lips?”

You no have tender young girl, only pizza. Pizza is good, yes. I like uncure pepperoni, yes, is true, but pepperoni is no human.”

LMAOOO why is this chapter so goofy