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Songs are written about smiles like the one on her face.
“You don’t think you’ll fall in love with me?” I grin. “That’s very bold of you, Larissa.” She levels her gaze on me. The sparkle is still there but also a heavy dose of confidence I wasn’t expecting. “On the contrary, I think it’s very bold of you to think I will, Hollis.” “Your naivete is adorable.” “And your confidence is admirable.”
“The gentleman in me wants to say that you look beautiful.” He smirks. “But the man in me wants to tell you that you look fucking hot.”
We kiss more than we fuck. We touch more than we come. We laugh and tickle and take our time. I’m not sure what to call this, but it isn’t fucking. It isn’t sex. But it is the best. Because it’s with her.
“I can’t imagine what it would feel like to watch Riss leave me,” I say, my voice wobbly. “I’m sure I wouldn’t survive it.”
“Sweetie, it’s okay to be scared. Especially if people have given you little reason to have hope in humanity. But those aren’t your people. God had to push them away so you could make it down here to your grandma Judy and Miss Larissa. Let us love you through this. Don’t push us all away.”
“What else do you want?” “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe for you to be the man I know and love.”
“I wanted someone to look at me like I was the most important thing in the world to him. That would tell the whole universe that I was his girl,” I say, wiping my cheeks. “That’s all. I didn’t want money or cars or fame. I just wanted to find my best friend and to create a beautiful corner of the world just for us.”
He doesn’t come to me, and he doesn’t reach out. But I don’t reach for him either. Why make things harder?
“Eventually, you’ll realize there are people in the world who love you,” I whisper. “And you pushed them all away. Just remember that I was one of them.”
I want to cry. I want to slide my back down the wall and just collapse on the floor and cry.
