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I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me. The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton
I’m a domino, on the verge of falling and making the whole pile crash down. The elephant on my chest started when Mom’s cancer came back this spring, then that pressure escalated with every game we lost.
Slay your demons, River. All is possible. I believe in you.
“I’ll wait.” I grind my teeth and step back. Her lips part, a small puff of air coming out. She looks at my mouth. “For what?” The lethal side of me, the one itching to play this game no matter the consequences, tries to take over and speak the truth. I shove it down. You, I say in my head.
“My favorite quote is, ‘You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want.’”
“New day. New beginning. Life’s full of possibilities in this moment. It’s a fresh start. It’s like a book when you open it to page one. Can you feel it?”
“Be a football star. Live your best life. Take chances and have no regrets. Those are my three things for you on this new day,” she says, her face tilting up to me. Her hand squeezes mine. My voice is husky. “You stay gold, Anastasia, breathe every breath, read all the books, get into law school, fuck the haters, and stay beautiful. Six things for you because you deserve them all.”
“She needs a man with a soul,” Carl says. “A man who cares for others. A man who walks in the room and other men look up to him. A man who looks at her and the whole world stops spinning. The more nuanced a man’s soul, the deeper he loves. It’s a forever kind of thing, the kind that’s written in the stars.”
“What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create. A jug fills drop by drop.”
“Listen, when you like a flower,
you pluck it. When you love a flower, you water it daily, hold it close, tell it your secrets, and watch it bloom and grow strong. You grow strong with it.”
“Love is first, sunshine. It’s rare to find your person. Water it.”
