These Tangled Vines

by Julianne MacLean

turns we don’t see coming. You know that better than anyone. You suffered a terrible trauma. And we all make mistakes. Mom certainly wasn’t perfect. She left a fair bit of destruction in her path.” “Yes, but she gave me you.” “And she gave me you.” I realized in that moment that I was going to have to find a way to accept how my life had played out and let go of the frustration and regret about not meeting Anton. This was my reality going forward. What good could come from grappling forever with “could have beens”? Every life was full of “could have beens.” The best we could do was make the most of what was and what had been. At least I finally knew the truth about my mother’s life, and I was no longer lying to my father. There was a tremendous relief in that—in the purging of secrets and the guilt that accompanied them. I felt somehow lighter, as if I had used a shovel to excavate my soul. Dad and I regarded each other in the rays of the early-morning sunlight through the window, and I believed he felt lighter, too—that he was relieved to have let the truth out of its long confinement.

Forgivenessand personal growth .