Break Me (Brayshaw, #5)

by Meagan Brandy

“I know you could be happy here. Do you?” “That’s all I wanted.”

“I can see what’s happening, Brielle. We all can.”

“As far as what?” His eyes cut across the place where Maddoc and Royce are waiting in a long line at a snack shack.

“He’s not easy to handle.”

“He’s the toughest person I know. The bravest, boldest, but he’s... not easy to handle. H...

“Why are you telling me this?” “Because there’ll be a time when you need to remember it.”

“You sound so sure, Captain.” “That’s because I am.” His response is instant. “I need you to understand that what feels like the end, is always the beginning. It’s where he has to be pushed back, or he’ll get lost.”

Royce was alone, or that’s how he felt.

“Exactly.” Our eyes meet, and a solemnness covers hers. “This is when my brother was helping you?” She nods. Jesus. He really felt... left behind, every bit the lost boy.

“These boys, they’re so much the same, but Royce...” She trails off. “You love him.” She nods. “I love all three, but I love them differently. My relationship with each one is spades away from the other, but at the end of the day I...

“Royce, I’m not shitting you, is delicate, but he never lets anyone get close enough to know it. It’s masked under his anger and playfulness. He wants to love, but he’s not capable of loving lightly. It’s not in his nature. He’s explosive, and he knows it, but you know that, too.” I take a deep breath and she turns to me.

“He will love fiercer than anyone ever could, deeper than most would think possible, but chances are, he’ll tear you apart in the process. Can you handle that?”

I swallow, shaking my head. “I’m so far from enough for him, and I don’t say that in self-pity. I say it because I understand the reality around me. I’m not afraid to say I want him, but I know I’m not a gi...

“That right there, is exactly why he will.”

To love Royce Brayshaw would be so easy, and dare I say I’m almost there, but to be loved by Royce Brayshaw... that’s an entirely different story.

Member when I said you were in trouble?” he rumbles. I nod. “Good, ‘cause that shirt? Hiding my mark on your skin?” He raises a brow, bringing his lips to my ear. “I’m gonna tear it to shreds... while it’s still on your body.” My core heats, my lips parting.

A small puddle of liquid pools around her shoes.

Finally!

look to Victoria. She frowns from one to the next, and a sigh leaves her. She glances my way. “You drive?” “Yeah.” “Good.” She closes Zoey’s door. “‘Cause this shit’s about to get interesting in three, two...” All at once, the boys come out of their state of shock, each shouting the same exact thing at the same exact moment. “Holy shit! The fuckin’ baby!” And then Maddoc passes out.

He whips around and Raven lifts a brow, reaching for him. He rushes to her, his knuckles finding her chin. “Snow?” “You ready for this, Big Man?” she rasps, and fuck me, my brother’s grin. I’ve never seen a thing like it.

Captain walks closer to Raven, placing a hand on her belly. She looks up at him with a smile. “You okay, Cap?” He nods, staring at her stomach. “You don’t have to stay inside if it’s too much,” she tells him what he already knows, and likely knowing his response before it even comes. He shakes his head, not once moving his focus from her belly. “I didn’t get to be a part of all this with Zo, I’m not missing any of this.” His mouth twitches and he looks to Maddoc.

This is the last time it will ever be just the two of them. Raven and Maddoc. What a fucking feeling that must be. A legit part of him is coming to change our world once again.

Brielle grabs her bag off the seat and hands me my keys. “Thanks for today. I had fun. Your family’s amazing, and Zoey, she’s too cute.”

“Wait.” Victoria comes out of nowhere. “You’re leaving?” Brielle’s lips tip up slightly and she nods. “I think I should, yeah.” “You should stay. I could use your help.” She steps closer, a low laugh leaving her. “Who knows what will happen here when Raven gets farther into this and the unkillable pain kicks in. I’ll need all hands on deck. Zoey likes you. Royce trusts you.” She nods. “Stay.” Royce trusts you.

She shakes his hand, but quickly turns to me, unsure. She comes closer. “Should I go or...” “She asked you to help.” My eyes move between hers, a heavy sense of expectation stirring in my chest. “You tell me, you want to help? Play with my niece? Make today easier for me?” For me? “For us.”

mean, you might need someone to bring one of you back to life again the next time someone passes out.” She teases with a shrug.

“You’ll be here when I come out.” “That didn’t sound like a question,” she says quietly. “Yeah. I know.” I trace her features, meeting her eyes. “Be here when I come out.”

It’s near one in the morning when the doctors deliver nightmare news. The baby’s heart rate is dropping, and Raven needs an emergency C-section, one that Maddoc can’t be in for because there was no time to prep. To say I was surprised when he didn’t scream and yell and get his way is an understatement, but he let her go like a man, forced to trust the doctors to do right by his entire fucking world.

The nurse realized we planned to stand right outside the doors she was wheeled through the entire time, so it didn’t take long for her to have three chairs moved in front of it. So here we sit, together, silently screaming as fear begins to tug at our hearts and minds.

A bed is pushed through, Raven sitting up inside of it, a little cocoon-like blanket gently tucked tight in her arms, a pillow beneath it, Maddoc at her side. Something comes over me, settles into me. Never in my life have I seen that look on my brother’s face and I can’t even explain it. It’s as if for the first time, he’s whole. Complete.

Raven’s eyes come to mine. “So, tell us, Uncle Bro. Was the sonogram right?” I step closer, staring down at the perfect little baby in her arms, and choke back the emotion threatening to escape. I pull a second stuffed wolf from the box and lay it against her arm. She inhales a choppy breath and I lean down, kissing her temple. I breathe through a smile. “Yeah, it was right,” I whisper, holding her eyes. “You did good, RaeRae. He’s perfect.”

Zoey leans over, officially making each and every one of us lose our damn cool when she whispers to her baby cousin for the very first time, “I love you, best friend. So, so much.”

They’ll go home, tuck their daughter into bed and then climb into one together. Maddoc will stay with his wife and newborn son, as he should. And me?

“Royce?” I don’t realize I’ve slowed the car until Brielle calls my name from the passenger seat. A car horn honks behind us, and it pisses me off.

I hit the gas, only to hit the brakes harder, and the horn honks again. Brielle jolts forward with a small squeal, frowning as my slow grin spreads. “Royce?” I reach in...

“What are you doing?” “He’s being a dick.” “Because you slammed on the brakes, and how do you know it’s a he?” “Don’t, but I’m about to find out.”

“That’s what you want to do right now, fight? Hurt people?” she snaps. “You just spent an amazing day with your family, waited all night like a kid with a golden Wonka ticket, dying with excitement to meet your nephew, and this is how you want to end the night?” “And you care why? You’re going home to an empty-ass room like always. I go home and what... fuckin’ sit there?” “It’s three in the morning, Royce,” she whispers. “You go home, climb into bed, and fall asleep.”

I’m alone. Strictly solo. The leftover Brayshaw.

“I wanna get fucked-up.” “Newsflash, Playboy, you are.” My head snaps her way, eyes angry... until I see hers. Hers are smiling. Perceptive. “It’s true, you bought a pink and blue wolf so no one would know for sure what the baby was when they peeked. And guess what. They all peeked. They told me,” she teases. “So fucked-up,” My frown begins to fade, and before I can stop it, a low laugh leaves me.

“You just said fuck.” Brielle grins, and I let her take the bat. “Drive, playboy, before they get out and knock on your window and I have to find another way to reel you in.” “Maybe I should stay right where I am then.”

“You trip me out,” he shares. A small grin twitches at my lips. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” His voice is heavy, full of rasp. “You make me laugh when I wanna tear shit apart.” You make me feel things I’m not sure I should.

Royce’s knuckle lifts, lazily trailing along my jaw. “What kind of things, baby girl?” My gaze flies up to his, and the heat in his is too much. My stomach comes alive with a million flutters.

“Do you have blankets in your truck?” I find myself whispering. He stares, his tone low. “Why?” “We could lay them out, watch the stars...” His hand comes up to push my hair back. “You wanna spend your night with me, Tink?” I think I want to spend all my nights with you. I don’t say that. Instead, I answer simply. “Yes.”

He brought me to his house, where no one is allowed.

“It’s calming, isn’t it? The sky.” “It’s dark.” I smile. “There are so many colors.” “It’s a pit of darkness, like my soul,” he jokes.

laugh. “If that’s the case, let’s look closer, find what you can’t see.” I scoot my head toward his, my hands lifting above us to point out the varying shades. “In this darker spot, you can’t see many stars, but you can see the deep, dark blue—” “Blackness.” I grin. “The blue that takes up this space.”

“Anger.” I grin into the night. “Okay, fine, but here.” I run my hand left. “That darkness, or anger, blends into the lighter, more royal blue we’ll call loyalty. Then a deep violet shade, devotion.” I make a wave with my fingers. “And then you get here, just before the edges of the stars that allow for the most ...

He holds my gaze. “Don’t forget the silver.” I swallow. “Silver?” He nods slowly. “It’s in there, too. All over, everywhere.” Everywhere. Jesus.

“Thousands and thousands of specs of silver, too many to forget.” His eyes fall to my lips. “Too many to leave out or let go.” The stars. The shades of his soul. Silver.

“See?” I breathe. “There’s so much more than darkness.” A faint smile falls over him and he faces the sky again. Mere minutes pass, and he’s alr...

Like a lonely boy. Like a lost boy. I could take away that pain, if he’d allow it. After all, lonely recognizes lonely.