Break Me (Brayshaw, #5)

by Meagan Brandy

She was light, and I’m the bastard who led her into darkness. But this girl... she followed with a smile. I told her I break pretty things. She asked me to promise.

no air to breathe that isn’t infused with his very scent—weed and wonder. Wind and water.

Maybe that’s twisted, maybe I’m twisted, but I never claimed to be the sane one, that’s Captain. Maddoc is the angry alpha, and me, I’m the fuckin’ wild one. The time bomb. Unpredictable and admittedly, unhinged.

He wants to step into my family, insert himself where he’s not wanted. Touché, motherfucker. Consider me inserted.

Like the North Star in a dark night’s sky, he burns too bright to hide.

A good, true laugh. Not loud or bubbling, but one that allows a little bit of light inside.

Because while the sun and the moon light our lives with a single glance, to feel that light is rare, and something that can’t be robbed from you before it should. Because a feeling comes from the inside, not the out.

Money is power. But money isn’t always good.

It wasn’t a weakness; it was a choice. My heart was on my sleeve so my brother would know I still had love to give, and I’ll admit, a way to spite our parents. I needed to show them I wasn’t bitter and broken, like they wanted. I saw deeper, understood young, they weren’t normal or good or even decent, and I knew I would be nothing like them.

Me and Bass, we bleed on the inside where no one can see. Pain becomes pity, and we never wanted any of that, so we showed none. We participated in PE with achy ribs and blank faces, because to show discomfort meant to raise questions, raising questions meant raising our dad’s fists. Silence was best. Secrets were necessary. Trust was nonexistent.

“Don’t close your mouth when you’ve got something to say. Don’t back down when you’ve got an opinion, and don’t let what someone else thinks, likes, or wants have any fuckin’ lead or sway on what you do, got me?”

“I want to be the guy a girl closes her eyes at night and sees. The one she wakes thinking about ‘cause she wants to fuck me or fuck with me, fight with me. And not because she wants to gain something or prove something, but because I’m all that she can see and she feels blind without me, even if she wishes she didn’t sometimes. I want to be her light and dark and, yeah, sometimes her fucking nightmare. A fucking king in her eyes and she’d be all those things right back, the queen in mine. Of mine.”

Only when reading back on my highlights did I notice the reference to blindness, which becomes a theme later in the book. Could be a coincidence, but I doubt it.

She’s soft and enigmatic, a fuckin’ tornado, sucking you into its path and keeping you there, swiveling and circling. Suffocating. A prisoner to an energy she’s clueless she possesses.

pain recognizes pain.

I hate her, she don’t listen. I like her, she challenges me. I can’t stand the sight of her, she distracts me. I can’t function when she’s out of sight, she’s all I want to see.

“You act like you thought I was different.” She pulls her lips in, tipping her head, and I think she steps closer. Or maybe it’s me. “Not different.” She reaches out, placing a hand on my chest, discovering the proof of my manic state. “More.”

I want him to break me. It’ll be worth it.

Royce kisses me slow, lazy, and long. And somehow, this kiss is more than the ones before. It’s honest. It’s an apology. It’s us. It’s him. It’s more.

“Help me fly, ‘cause this lost boy is on his way down, baby girl...” He quiets, his hold tightening.

Royce Brayshaw has the ability to feed my soul... or feast on it. And me? I must be as sick as my mother was... because I’m pretty sure I’d let him do both.

I step back, smiling at the girl in the mirror, and unexpected moisture fills my eyes, because for the first time, the girl who smiles back? I believe her.

I bawled. Very close to home and a very well worded moment of realisation of a positive change in oneself.

All at once, the boys come out of their state of shock, each shouting the same exact thing at the same exact moment. “Holy shit! The fuckin’ baby!” And then Maddoc passes out.

After all, lonely recognizes lonely.

I’m consumed by him and his every move.

“For the record, as far as I’m concerned you were already mine, and baby girl... know that I’m yours.”

A small smile graces her flawless lips, and with a bit of a hop, she joins my brother and niece inside the netting, jumping and attempting to dunk a ball in the little hoop attached to the top. She fails, but still she laughs. She’s fucking stunning. And perfect. Happy. Can I keep her that way? I’ll kill myself trying.

She’s soft, but not in a weak way. Kind but not to trick. Generous but not for clout.” I sigh, my body relaxing in the seat. “Loyal but without hatred, trusting but not blind.”

I follow her with my eyes, and when I look back, everyone is focused on me. “Business, huh, Royce?” Victoria teases. I flip her off with a smirk. Fuck business. That’s my baby.

I refuse to paint her world black when she’s only begun to see the shades of the summer sun.

You’re not her ruin, Royce, you’re her only fuckin’ recovery.”

Ready or not, baby. Here I fucking come.

Need recognizes need.

I was born to die for her, and that’s something I won’t hesitate to do.

“Big brothers aren’t supposed to cry.” “Little sisters aren’t supposed to die.”