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That’s how I feel about my husband lately. Like he walks around our house and I could be a ghost for all it matters. Or maybe he’s the ghost. Maybe we both are.
“About that word, fair…the idea of ‘fair’ in a marriage, any relationship, I mean it’s impossible. No marriage is fair. It’s complementary. The idea of ‘fair’ is absurd at best, ableist at worst.”
“Ableist,” Dr. Dietrich says. “Because saying a relationship has to be ‘fair’ implies only a certain balance and distribution of skills and aptitudes is valid. It upholds an arbitrary, damaging idea of ‘normal’ or ‘standard’ as requisite for fulfilling partnership. When in reality, all you need is two people who love what the other brings and share the work of love and life together.”
“I already accepted your apology.” “But I’m still suffering the consequences.” God, men really don’t get it sometimes. They want apologies to wipe away the pain. But pain takes time to heal. You can forgive and hurt as you recover from the wound.
“But I imagine it’ll have something to do with a woman showing up and infiltrating his brain until all he does is think about her, worry about her, draw her, dream about her, until he’s miserable and his tidy plans to enjoy a long, uneventful bachelorhood are completely upended.” Axel stares into the fire and mutters darkly, “In other words, rampant chaos ensues.”
Love’s true test, the measure of its strength, is its bravery to be honest, its willingness to face the hardest moments and say, Even though there’s nothing to be done, at least I have you.
