I made the list because whereas I’m a feeler, Aiden is a thinker, and I’ve always internalized this pressure in our relationship to handle my emotions more like him. To be “reasonable” when I’m upset. To be “rational” when we argue. Because I want my perspective to be taken seriously, and when I sound cerebral, Aiden seems to listen. If I sound calmer than I feel, I don’t risk triggering Aiden’s anxiety beyond the point that he can actually hear me out. Sure, it works, but it’s a lie. It’s not how I tick. The real me cries and speaks when her feelings aren’t tidy but instead a messy mix of
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