In the days since the flash drive showed up on my porch, we’ve settled into a sort of routine; I’ve been working overtime trying to find the culprit—to no fucking avail—and she spends hers ordering shit with my credit card and trying to figure out how to use it. The first day, it was fishing. She ordered a neon pink pole and matching tackle box and was up and out of bed at four in the morning, prepared to put her research to the test. She was back inside within an hour, huffing about how no one told her fishing was so boring. Another day was stargazing, though she passed out before the best
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