Infinite Country

by Patricia Engel

The baby was named Talia for the actress who played the wife of Rocky. Mauro loved those movies, and Elena always thought the wife much tougher than the boxer. Only women knew the strength it took to love men through their evolution to who they thought they were supposed to be.

Her father said the death of a loved one was like a house on fire. Even with everything intact, it still felt like mere ashes.

Lies often accompany longing.

That night I thought about how love comes paired with failures, apologies for deficiencies. The only remedy is compassion.

Our mother didn’t sleep much those nights, and sometimes I left the room I shared with my sister to sit with her on her bed and listen as she told me it was a scary thing to have all your prayers answered.

I wondered about the matrix of separation and dislocation, our years bound to the phantom pain of a lost homeland, because now that we are together again that particular hurt and sensation that something is missing has faded. And maybe there is no nation or citizenry; they’re just territories mapped in place of family, in place of love, the infinite country.