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Here’s my lips! Mash them back against my teeth! Here’s my nose! Bloody it for sure and break it if you can! Box an ear so it swells up like a cauliflower! Split an eyebrow! Here’s my chin, go for the knockout button! Here are my eyes, so blue and so magnified behind these hateful, hateful glasses, these horn-rimmed specs one bow of which is held on with adhesive tape. Break the specs! Drive a shard of glass into one of these eyes and close it forever! What the hell!
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The first real terror struck him then, and there was nothing at all supernatural about it. It was only a realization of how easy it was to trash your life. That was what was so scary. You just dragged the fan up to everything you had spent the years raking together and turned the motherfucker on. Easy. Burn it up or blow it away, then just take a powder.
Stan Uris with his big Jew-boy nose, Bill Denbrough who could say nothing but ‘Hi-yo, Silver!’ without stuttering so badly that it drove you almost dogshit, Beverly Marsh with her bruises and her cigarettes rolled into the sleeve of her blouse, Ben Hanscom who had been so big he looked like a human version of Moby Dick, and Richie Tozier with his thick glasses and his A averages and his wise mouth and his face which just begged to be pounded into new and exciting shapes.
‘Going home now,’ Rich Tozier whispered to himself. ‘Going home, God help me, going home.’
God knew his own mother had been a whopper.
Sometimes home is where the heart is, Eddie thought randomly. I believe that.
‘I know that you grew up in a town called Derry, moved to Bangor about two years after your brother died, and moved to Portland when you were fourteen. I know your dad died of lung cancer when you were seventeen. And you wrote a best-seller while you were still in college, paying your way with a scholarship and a part-time job in a textile mill.
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‘My balls. Ug! Oh you broke my balls. Ug-ug!’ He was now beginning to gain a little force, and Ben started to back away a step at a time. He was sickened by what he had done, but he was also filled with a kind of righteous, paralyzed fascination. ‘Ug! – my fuckin sack – ug-UG! – oh my fuckin BALLS!’
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A silence fell amid the three of them. It was not an entirely uncomfortable silence. In it they became friends.
He laughs seldom these days, and he certainly did not expect to find many chucks (Richie’s word, meaning chuckles, as in ‘You had any good chucks today, Eds?’)
Man, he had hated it when Richie called him Eds … but he had sort of liked it, too.
He remembers that he loved Bill Denbrough; he remembers that well enough. Bill never made fun of his asthma. Bill never called him little sissy queerboy. He loved Bill like he would have loved a big brother … or a father. Bill knew stuff to do. Places to go. Things to see. Bill was never up against it. When you ran with Bill you ran to beat the devil and you laughed … but you hardly ever ran out of breath. And hardly ever running out of breath was great, so fucking great, Eddie would tell the world. When you ran with Big Bill, you got your chucks every day.
‘Don’t do that! I hate it when you do that, Richie.’ ‘Ah, you love it, Eds,’ Richie said, and beamed at him. ‘So what do you say? You havin any good chucks, or what?’
He turned his head slightly and winked at Eddie. ‘Ain’t that right, Eds?’ Ben, Eddie saw, was looking at Richie with a mixture of awe and wariness.
‘D-Don’t wuh-worry,’ Bill said. ‘It’s j-j-just Ruh-Ruh-Richie. He’s c-c-crazy.’ Richie bounced to his feet. ‘I heard that, Denbrough. You better leave me alone or I’ll sic Haystack here on you.’
Richie jumped to his feet a second time and pinched Eddie’s cheek. ‘Cute, cute, cute!’ Richie exclaimed.
Bill opened his mouth (more anxiety on Eddie’s part), closed it (blessed relief for Eddie), and then opened it again (renewed anxiety).
‘Richie, can’t you ever shut up?’ Eddie hissed.
Stan Uris had cut their palms with a sliver of Coke bottle and they had made a promise – Except all of that had already happened.
‘Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Trashmouth.’
‘Take it easy, Eds,’ Richie soothed, and leaned toward him. ‘Don’t call me Eds and don’t you dare pinch my cheek!’ he cried, rounding on Richie. ‘You know I hate that! I always hated it!’
‘Way to go, Eds,’ Richie said. ‘We’re really gonna have ourselves some chucks this time, I bet.’
my fadder bore me rather than my mutter. He shat me from his asshole! Hee! Hee! Hee!’
As a kid he had been a goof-off, a sometimes vulgar, sometimes amusing comedian, because it was one way to get along without getting killed by kids like Henry Bowers or going absolutely loony-tunes with boredom and loneliness.
‘I could have you now if I wanted you now,’ it said. ‘But this is going to be too much fun.’ ‘Fun for me too,’ Richie heard his mouth say. ‘The most fun of all when we come to take your fucking head off, baby.’
the kid said. He burst into laughter again – a gay and uncomplicated sound.
‘I suppose you want to do something babyish like going down to the dump and breaking bottles with rocks.’ ‘I like breaking bottles with rocks,’ Richie said, standing up beside Stan.
‘I keep trying, Big Bill,’ Richie said. ‘I feel like, if I get good enough, someday I’ll earn your love.’ He made dainty kissing gestures at the air. Bill shot him the finger.
‘Oh Eddie, I do love you,’ Beverly says, and Eddie looks up, startled but smiling. She gazes up and down the table. ‘I love all of you.’
think we still all love each other … Do you know how rare that must be?’
‘Yo mamma,’ Mike said,
‘You want to know what a wise man once told me, Eds?’ ‘No,’ Eddie said, ‘and I don’t want you to call me Eds anymore, Richie. I mean, I’m sincere. I don’t call you Dick, as in “You got any gum on ya, Dick?”, so I don’t see why –’
Eddie my love.’
‘W-W-What about when they broke your arm, E-E-Eddie?’ ‘Your stutter’s getting worse, Big Bill,’
Bill nods again. He remembers Mrs Kaspbrak, a huge woman with a strange schizophrenic face, a face capable of looking stony and furious and miserable and frightened all at the same time.
It was written in accusing black letters so large that he bet even Richie Tozier could read it without his glasses:
‘Do you know what a placebo is, Eddie?’ Nervously, taking his best guess, Eddie said: ‘Those are the things on cows that the milk comes out of, aren’t they?’
Patrick Hockstetter, a genuinely spooky kid.
Don’t cry, he thought, that’s what they want, but don’t you do it Eddie, Bill wouldn’t do it, Bill wouldn’t cry, and don’t you cry, eith
They’re my friends, and you’re not going to steal my friends just because you’re scared of being alone.’
there aren’t any such things as good friends or bad friends – maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you’re hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. Maybe they’re always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. Maybe worth dying for, too, if that’s what has to be. No good friends. No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who build their houses in your heart.

