Tic-Tac-Mistletoe (Hartbridge Christmas, #1)

by N.R. Walker

“Are you a serial killer? I really hope you’re not a serial killer, though to be honest, I’d probably just roll with it at this point.”

“Me? I can’t even kill spiders and blood makes me squeamish, so that’s a definite no. Plus, how would I overpower anyone so I could actually kill them? I have the upper body strength of wet paper.”

“Yeah, definitely. Was just thinking of upgrading my gay status from queen to butch with these boots. They’re great.” Ren barked out a laugh. “Gay status is a thing? I must have missed the memo.” He picked Chutney up and opened the passenger door, placing her inside. “Oh, the gay memo. Yeah, it’s like the letter from Hogwarts. And Hagrid appears and says ‘yer a gay now, Harry.’” He laughed again. “He must have got lost.” “Maybe he was an Aussie Hagrid who couldn’t drive in the snow.”

“What the hell kind of name is Beartrap Road?” I asked, horrified. “And what should I be more terrified of? The bear or the trap? And pray tell, who the hell is trapping bears? Just leave the fluffy killing machines alone.” He laughed, and I sighed. “Sorry. I tend to ramble when I’m stressed.”

“I’d hate to be a bother. I could make you dinner as a thank you. But a word of warning, I’m not a very good cook, and as long as you have a fire extinguisher handy, we’ll be fine. And maybe an evacuation plan, just in case.”