The Layover

by Lacie Waldon

There are people in the world who live by the adage that new is better. To me, it’s the things that have lasted that are the most valuable. The things that have proven they can be counted on.

Could there be enough alcohol in her hair spray that she’s always a little drunk?

When you’re trapped on a jump seat like we are, it’s too easy to find yourself giving parts of yourself away to someone you might not run into again for another several years, if ever. Before you know it, too much of you is floating out in the world, carried by people who don’t care about you. It’s better to keep the personal details to myself.

I wonder if it’s possible to be allergic to people. Like, proximity to them can make your personality begin to sneeze and hack.

As a handsome, fit, heterosexual man, Jack is basically our unicorn, with a penis as the horn atop his head.

It’s so strange how sometimes a conversation can make you feel lonelier than silence ever did.

Up and down like the waves, to the sky and back to earth again, that’s what life is for me. I might not have chosen it, but it has unquestionably chosen me.

I crawl beneath the covers, pulling them over my head. I am the child in the backseat, forgotten. I’ve been left behind again.

All my life, I’ve made myself smaller around the people I love. Somehow I even managed to stop growing at a mere five feet. Tiny enough to be portable. Quiet enough to blend into the furniture. Agreeable. Easy. Whatever it takes to keep them from leaving me behind. Anything to keep them from wondering why I’m still there.

“I’m Ava. I’m a flight attendant who disappoints people and changes my mind about very important things.”

Because the kind of people my parents were drawn to were not the planners of the world. They were the wanderers.

His smile flashes against the dark sky. “I wondered if you’d ever notice anything you like about me.”

I’m going to need a little rain tomorrow because all this sunshine and warmth is impeding my ability to properly mourn.

I think cheating is the greatest hurt you could ever inflict on someone. Because you’re not just doing something bad to them. You’re sabotaging their whole life. You’re letting them build a world around lies. And when they finally find out, they’re not just going to be heartbroken; they’re going to have to face the terrible fact that they’ve invested all of their time and energy into something that never really existed in the first place.”

But I don’t want to play this game anymore. I want to be allowed to like you. And I want you to like me.”

“It’s just because I’m scared. I worry, if I’m not easy enough to be around, I’ll get left behind.”

But what is the future, really? Does it even exist? I keep trying to reach it, but every time I wake up, it’s today again.