The irony is that care tasks can only be caring when they are morally neutral. If changing your sheets means nothing morally, then the decision to change them from a motivation of kindness to yourself takes you from neutral to “wow that feels good!” You didn’t have to do it but you did. It’s the same concept behind why you feel so loved when a partner chooses to do something kind for you when they didn’t have to. If you know someone is doing something because they have to, it doesn’t have much positive impact. It works the same way with your relationship to yourself.
