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It was always about the long game—measured not in weeks or months but in years. Decades. Even the tiniest of seeds can sprout into the mightiest of oaks.
Because what I admired most about Ava was also what I hated about her. Darkness craves light as much as it wants to destroy it, and here, in this ballroom, with her in my arms and my cock straining against my zipper, that had never been more clear.
“I try not to, but…” Another shaky breath. “That’s why Liam cheating on me hurt so much. I wasn’t really in love with him, so I wasn’t heartbroken per se, but he’s yet another person who was supposed to love me but didn’t.” My chest ached. If I wasn’t the problem, why did this keep happening to me? I tried to be a good person. A good daughter, good girlfriend…but no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up hurt.
Alex grazed his thumb over my breast, and I moaned. Moaned. From a touch that lasted less than two seconds. I wanted to die. His pupils dilated until the green irises were eclipses ringed with jade fire. He dropped his hand, and cool air rushed in to replace the warmth of his touch. “Finish the photo shoot, Ava.” The roughness of his voice scraped against my skin. “What?” I was too shocked by the sudden change in the atmosphere to process his words. “The photo shoot. Finish it,” he gritted out. “Unless you want to start something you’re not ready to finish.”
Madeline smirked. “Please. You look like the type who expects tender kisses and sweet nothings in bed. But as you probably know”—her smirk turned vicious—“Alex doesn’t do either of those things. It’s well known among a certain segment of DC’s female population. No kissing, no face-to-face contact during sex.” She lowered her head so she could whisper in my ear. “But he will take you from behind. Choke and fuck you till you see stars. Call you the filthiest names and treat you like a slut.” She straightened, her eyes gleaming with triumph at my scarlet face. “Some women like that. You…” She
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“What is it, Sunshine?”
“I’m trying to save you, Ava,” he said out of nowhere, right as we finished all the dishes and I prepared to flee. “From what?” I refused to look at him, but I could see him watching me out of the corner of my eye. “From me.” I didn’t respond, because how was I supposed to tell the man determined to save me that I didn’t want to be saved?
“That you like choking and calling women names. In bed.” The danger in the air thickened until I could almost taste it, and my bravado faltered. Maybe baiting the tiger wasn’t the best idea… “Yet you’re still here, asking me to kiss you.” His grip on my wrist turned to iron. “Why is that, Sunshine?” He hadn’t denied it, which meant it must be true. My heart raced. “Maybe—” I wet my lips with my tongue, conscious of his eyes tracking the movement the way a lion would a gazelle. “I like those things too.”
“What is it, Sunshine?” I brushed my lips over hers, already preparing myself for the next round. If I was going to hell for this, I might as well enjoy every second. “No kissing or face-to-face contact during sex,” she murmured. “I thought those were your rules.” I paused. She was right. Those were my rules—ones I created after I was old enough to realize emotions had nothing to do with sex and feelings had no place in the bedroom. I’d never once broken them—until tonight.
“But the rules don’t apply to you.”
Alex gripped my chin and brought my gaze to his. “What did I tell you? You’re mine, Sunshine. You’re never touching another man unless you want him six feet in the ground. So yes, we’re fucking exclusive.”
“So is that what we are?” I gasped when he slid his rapidly hardening cock along my already wet slit. “Fuck buddies?” “Among other things.” He fished a condom from our dwindling supply—he’d had to run out yesterday for a box—and pinned my wrists above my head before thrusting into me. “You want to fuck, we fuck. You want to date, we date. You want to call me your boyfriend, I’ll call you my girlfriend. But for now, let me take care of that needy little pussy of yours, hmm?” And he did.
“I’ll drain every fucking lake and ocean in the world if I have to.”
“You are the light to my dark, Sunshine,”
You are the light to my dark. Without you, I’m lost. Beautiful words that made my heart pound…but I couldn’t help noticing none of them were “I love you too.”
That’s my girl. Hate me. Don’t cry over me. Never cry over me. I’m not worth it.
“I tried to warn you, sweetheart,” he said, his face impassive. “I told you not to romanticize me, to harden that soft heart. It was my one courtesy for the kindness you’ve shown me over the years. But you fell for me anyway.” His jaw tightened. “Consider it a lesson for the future. Pretty words and pretty faces don’t equal pretty souls.” My hope turned to ashes. My soft heart? No. I didn’t have a heart at all, not anymore. He’d torn it out of my chest, sliced it to ribbons with the blades of his words, and tossed the shreds aside without a second thought.
Why was it always me? What about me made me so damn unlovable? So gullible? My favorite color. Yellow. My favorite ice cream flavor. Mint chocolate chip. You are the light to my dark, Sunshine. Without you, I’m lost. Lies. All of it.
“I’ll always need you, Sunshine.”
I wished I could run after her and give her some unsolicited big-sister advice. Don’t fall for guys who look like they could break your heart, because chances are they will.
My heart split in half. I wanted so badly to believe him, but… “Even if that’s true, it’s not about love. It’s about trust, and I don’t trust you anymore. You proved you’re the master of the long game. What if this is just another one of those? What if one day, ten years from now, I wake up and you break my heart again? I won’t survive it a second time.”
