Sinners' Playground (The Harlequin Crew, #1)

by Caroline Peckham

I was either one lucky bitch or the Grim Reaper had been preoccupied tonight and he’d come looking to claim what he was owed soon enough. I was banking on the former.

The only kiss my boys had ever given me was the very same one that Judas offered up to the man he was supposed to love.

I wanted out of this life. All the way out like I'd been dreaming of for years, then I needed to go back. I needed to take what I was owed then set my eyes on the horizon and run for my life. Not this sorry excuse for an existence I'd been festering in for years, but for the life I'd always wished for in the darkest corners of the night. The one I'd never really believed I could claim. But it was now or never. I was a dead girl walking and I needed to decide my own fate.

I shook off the urge to bitch about my lot in life and started walking. Big girls don't cry and all that jazz. Or maybe broken girls didn't feel. And dead girls didn't hurt.

“Penguin’s don’t fly,” he muttered and I snorted. “They do if you throw ‘em hard enough.”

We’d all loved that girl once, and the mark she’d left on us was everlasting. It was just a fact of life now. Even if she hated us and would gladly watch us burn for her, we’d drag her enemies into the flames as we went.

"You and me have been written in the stars for a long fucking time, Rogue. I know you used to feel it too. We're inevitable. Always have been, always will be."

"You think you really hate me that much?" he taunted, finding my hand and pushing the knife he held into my grip. I watched him in fear as he turned the blade in our combined grip and pressed it against his throat before removing his hand and just staring down at me. "So do it, then. Take your vengeance and rid the world of a monster while you're at it. My heart only beats for you anyway so if you want to carve it from my chest then you can. It's yours whatever way you want it."

"I've always wondered if you really were the most beautiful girl I've ever met, or if I'm just biased because I've seen how deep that beauty runs," he said, his voice full of grit and regrets. "And now that I find myself looking at you again, I've realised it doesn't matter if I'm biased. You're everything I've always been missing Rogue. And I'm so sorry about what happened between us. I can only promise you I thought it was the best thing at the time and I've regretted it every single day since."

It had been a long time since I'd realised that I was broken inside, but I'd quickly figured out that I could still enjoy myself if I focused on it hard enough. It had given me a say yes attitude, so whether it was taking part in wet t-shirt contests or drinking with people I barely knew or singing at the top of my lungs while I drove, I threw myself into it until the smile on my face became real. And for the most part it worked out pretty damn well for me. I could almost believe I wasn’t miserable.

I’d learned a long time ago to expect the unexpected. And when life gave you lemons, you’d better not bust your ass making lemonade. You needed to squeeze the acid out into your enemies’ eyes and gut them while they were blinded.

“I’d ruin you, baby. I’d prove there’s no other man on earth who can make you feel the way I do. You deserve to be fucking worshipped. I’d show up at your church every day and get down on my knees for you. Every. Fucking. Day.”

Nothing she did could hurt. I’d craved her touch for too long, and I didn’t care if she wanted to burn me at the fucking stake, I’d still enjoy her fucking company while I went up in flames.

Who didn't love getting into the kind of trouble that could easily get you killed and then having to figure out some insane way out of it anyway?

“I think we’re still drifting out to sea,” Rogue said, gazing towards the endless horizon as she bit her lip in concern. The shore was becoming smaller and smaller, but the coastguard would get to us soon. We just had to hang on. “I’d drift right off the edge of the world if that was where you were heading, hummingbird.”

I could jerk my chin and have two girls fighting over my cock in under a minute because of who I was. But maybe that had spoiled me. Because the only girl I ever wanted to date was finally back in my life and I had no idea how to make her want me for something serious. Ah shit, I’m gonna have to read JJ’s dirty books, aren’t I?

She was my sunrise. The one I’d been waiting for for ten years. And I wanted to wake to her every day, watch her light up my morning for as many days as I had left on earth.

I kissed her slow and deep and her tongue moved with mine, tasting of sea salt and my future wife. I was half tempted to get down on one knee right now if I knew she wouldn’t kick me in the balls for it. I’d earn that yes from her somehow though. My girl had broken over me once and it was my job to heal her now. I’d find each of her fractured pieces and mend them one at a time. Until she stopped hurting and hating. Until she forgave me for all the bad shit I’d done. Until she realised she’d always been mine and always would be.

“No worries, Ace. I’m a big girl. I gave up on being loved a long time ago and I don’t really care if I’m not liked either.”

“Hate me, pretty girl,” I growled. “But have me too.”

She was the one thing on earth I could never earn myself. And the one thing capable of destroying everything I’d earned besides her.