The Mixtape

by Brittainy C. Cherry

I wanted to know what made a person tick. I wanted to not only see them in the sunlight, but I wanted to see their rain clouds too.

Unfortunately, we lived in a world where going deep wasn’t very common anymore. People lived on the surface level, showcasing the happy highlights of themselves.

Being a single parent was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do in my life, yet I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. The father was definitely never going to be in the picture, so I’d learned to handle everything on my own.

“Then there is no way we are poor. We have clothes on our backs, a roof over our head, a car to drive, and each other’s love. No one can be poor if they have love.”

I’d learned quickly that motherhood meant saying no to yourself so you could later say yes to your child.

When I thought back to the hardest times of my life, when I thought I wouldn’t have made it through, somehow I had done exactly that—I survived.

“Belonging comes in different forms, I think. It can come from a place, a person, an object, an occupation.” “What makes you belong?” “My daughter,” she said without hesitation. “She’s my safe place. What about you?”

When it rains, it pours, but the rain always stops, and the sun comes out again.

The hardest truth to learn in life was that not everyone loved the same way you did.

The oddest thing about life was how something could show up out of nowhere and change everything in a split second of time.

“I’d rather sit in my loneliness than be lonely with someone who doesn’t care for me at all.

Healing doesn’t walk a linear line; it takes the messy route. I believe that healing comes during both the dark days and the bright ones. It’s not all rainbows. Sometimes healing means slicing open the scars that made you hurt so much before and examining them to fully understand yourself. Why did the cut hurt you in the past? How did it change you into who you are today? What can we learn from the pain of your yesterdays to better your tomorrows?”

True success comes from within. And that success is defined by being able to wake up and have gratitude. That’s the goal. Now, that’s not saying that everything is perfect when you are happy. That’s not what happiness is. Happiness, gratitude, is the ability to wake up and say, yes, some things in my life are hard right now, but I still get to feel good about one or two things. You get to choose joy, even when times are tough.

Every person in this world has a mixtape of sorts, a collection of tracks that defines their lives. Each memory is a song, and they all come together to create a masterpiece. So, tell me about your story. What lyrics, what melodies, live on your mixtape?”

A piece of advice—find yourself a man who will dance with you even when your heart is broken.”

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” “Do what?” “Be strong all the time.” “Yes,” I said while nodding, “I do. Because if I’m not, then I’m not able to be what my daughter needs me to be. She needs me to be strong in order to take care of her.”

“You should never have to beg for anyone to love you. You should never have to do as they say for them to deem you worthy of their love. That’s not how love works.”