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I’d learned quickly that motherhood meant saying no to yourself so you could later say yes to your child.
So, like a complete weirdo, I began putting on invisible clothing in front of him. “Okay, all dressed,” I stated, placing my hands on my hips. “All right, I’m going to bed.”
side. “We have to get you to the hospital. I’m sorry, but we have to go. I’m sorry about your shoes.” I smirked. “As long as you keep considering using my name for the child, we’ll call it even. I wish you the best of luck, and congratulations.” Alex’s light-brown eyes were bright and filled with care as he added, “You got this.”
“Sorry. I’m ready,” I said, trying to bury the embarrassment building inside. Wonderful. She thought I was blowing up her toilet. “No, you’re not! You didn’t flush or wash your hands!” the little girl hollered my way. Again with this girl and her hollering. Did she not know what an indoor voice was?
“Can we talk about this later, Ed? Just not in front of my kid?”
“Yeah, all right. Just get me the money, will you?”
“Mommy, I have money in my piggy bank you can have.”
“Or I can drop you off to wherever you’re going.”
“Sure. It’s no big deal.”
“I’m sure you’re busy
“No, she’s not. Mama lost her job at the hotel, so she doesn’t do any...
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“Heard you talking to Ms. Abigail about it when you dropped me off at her house the other day.”
“Kids have a way of talking too much. But it’s true. My day’s pretty open, so I can give you a ride.”
“This isn’t your music.” “Yes, it is.” “No, it’s not! This is Alex and Oliver Mith’s music!” she stated matter-of-factly. “Smith,” I corrected. Her “Mith” sounded like “myth,” and for some reason that made it seem as if I didn’t truly exist. Funny enough, I felt like that on the daily. “That’s what I said,” she said, agreeing. “And that’s not you.” “I’m pretty sure I know who I am, kid.” “You have no clue who you are,”
“Stop calling me ‘kid’—I’m five years old. I’m a big girl.” “I’ll stop calling you ‘kid’ when you stop calling me ‘Mith.’” “Okay, Mr. Mith!” she snapped back in the sassiest tone ever.
When it rains, it pours, but the rain always stops, and the sun comes out again.
“Okay, Mama. I hope I get to meet him one day. I want to tell him I love him like I love you.” My already shattered heart crumbled into even more pieces than ever before. “I love you, Reesey Pieces,” I choked out, fighting the tears that were sitting at the back of my eyes. “Love you, too, Mama.”
“No life is better than another. They are all just uniquely different.”
“Please, Sammie. I’m struggling. I can’t do this alone. I wouldn’t ask unless I really needed the help and—”
“No. I don’t need money, Sammie. I need you. I’ve always been there for you at your lowest . . . please . . . I need you at mine. It can be quick. You don’t even have to see Reese, I swear. I just need you.”
The hardest truth to learn in life was that not everyone loved the same way you did.
“Oh.” I bit my bottom lip. “I just think there might be someone more qualified.” “I don’t want someone more qualified. I want you.”
The oddest thing about life was how something could show up out of nowhere and change everything in a split second of time.
“Hey, Oliver. I figured it would be easier to call and talk instead of texting back and forth. Are you okay?”
“Why do you ask me that all the time?”
“Because I want t...
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“But the answer’s always ...
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“Yes,” I said, nodding as if he could see me. “But someday it won’t be. S...
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“I think some people are just born sadder than others.”
Healing doesn’t walk a linear line; it takes the messy route. I believe that healing comes during both the dark days and the bright ones. It’s not all rainbows. Sometimes healing means slicing open the scars that made you hurt so much before and examining them to fully understand yourself. Why did the cut hurt you in the past? How did it change you into who you are today? What can we learn from the pain of your yesterdays to better your tomorrows?”
Every person in this world has a mixtape of sorts, a collection of tracks that defines their lives. Each memory is a song, and they all come together to create a masterpiece. So, tell me about your story. What lyrics, what melodies, live on your mixtape?”
“You think I’m freaking amazing, huh?” “Oh God. Don’t let it go to your head.” I dramatically rolled my eyes as I popped one of her apps into my mouth. “Too late. The ego has been inflated. I am freaking amazing, and no one can tell me differently.” I shrugged. “You’re average at best.” Her jaw dropped open. “You’re lying.” “I’m lying.” She smiled. I smiled.
I’ve been overthinking it since I asked. I should’ve just invited you over and hired a caterer. It was rude of me to ask. Sometimes I don’t think things through until I overthink it and—”
“Don’t overthink this one, Oliver. Today was so fun, and it gave me a chance to do what I love the most. Being able to cook for you has reminded me so much of who I want to be. This is my passion, and because of you I’m able to make it come to life.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Are you ...
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“I’m all right...
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“Yeah, really. Today was good.”
“Don’t cry, Em.”
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” “Happy tears,” she said, laughing a little. “Just happy tears. I’m really happy for you. You deserve good days.” “Emery?” “Yes?” “Are we friends?” Her brown eyes smiled more than her lips. “Of course we are.”
“With me,” I promised, holding her close to me as I comforted her the way our parents should’ve. “You’ll come stay with me in the dorms. Then, when the time is right, we’ll get an apartment together. Don’t worry, Sammie. You’re not alone in this. You’re never going to be alone in this.”
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Can I hold you again?”
“Ple...
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“Do you think Mr. Mith is hot?” My eyes bugged out of my face. “What?” “Kelly asked me to ask you if you thought that, and she said that if you turned red and made a big reaction, that meant yes. So, I guess it’s a yes.”
Do you think about me the way I think about you?
Like you’re every single good thing in the world wrapped in one person.
“Thank you, Emery.” “For what?” “Existing.”
Her arms wrapped around my neck as our kiss deepened. I could have kissed her forever. Her lips were soft; her kisses were full. I liked how she kissed me as if she were searching for every single piece of me. The whole pieces and the shattered corners of my soul.
