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she had a way of looking at you that made you feel like you were the only person in the room.
Cheyenne had the kind of body you could spend hours exploring—you could get lost and never want to be found.
There was no way to hide what she was doing to me.
But sometimes it feels like love is just a numbers game, you know? Some people are lucky while other people aren’t.
Maybe I could manifest sex with Cole if I wrote it on my turkey.
“Your body is fucking perfect, Cheyenne.” I swear to God, those words came out of his mouth. My jaw fell open. His face went red. “Fuck. Sorry.” “For what? It was a compliment.” “Men shouldn’t comment on women’s bodies.”
“I think real love will keep feeling like real love, even after the costume is off and the novelty wears thin.”
“I love my dad the most out of anybody.” Girl, same, I wanted to say. Instead I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I know.”
My eyes traveled over his shoulders and chest, imagining what it would be like to rest my head on them, bury my face in his neck, snuggle up beneath the covers on a cold night like tonight, instead of falling asleep alone.
“I feel like I should apologize, but . . . I’m not sorry.”
The things I truly felt appreciative of right now—Cheyenne’s accidental sext, the rush of her breath in my ear as I imagined her body beneath mine, the fact that somehow this morning I’d woken up a little less lonely than I had the day before—were not things I could announce over roasted Brussels sprouts and sweet potato mash.
“Well, accidents happen. But when you have something precious in your hands, you need to hold on tight. Understand?”
felt so fucking good to hold someone like that—protectively, a little possessively, almost as if she was mine.
‘Woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.’”
“Holy shit.” His eyes ran over my skin, head to toe. “You’re stunning.”
“Because I can’t stop thinking about you. Because you’re killing me in that dress. Because I don’t want to lie awake tonight wishing I’d had the courage to tell you how much I want you.”
“No need for apology, Cole.” I took another deep breath. “I came up here willingly, and part of me is still desperately hoping tonight ends with me in your arms, because I can’t tell you how badly I’ve always wanted to be there.”
He looked over at me. “I want you there too.” “But not enough,” I said, hearing the catch in my voice, even as I smiled. “And it’s okay. The truth is, Cole, I don’t want it enough either—not enough to invite the heartbreak that would follow. Because I won’t be able to just walk away from this and be okay. It will mean too much to me.”
“The truth is, Cole, I’ve loved you hopelessly for so long that I don’t know any other way to do it. But being with you like that would give me hope, and that’s something I can’t afford right now.”
“That when you have something precious in your hands, you need to hold on tight.”
“I feel a lot of things. I feel like I want to hold you all night. I feel like all the oxygen goes out of the room when you enter it. I feel like I’m the only guy in the world when you look at me. I feel like there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make you smile.”
“You told me a lie too.” I met her eyes. “What do you mean?” “You said you loved her the real way.” “I do love her the real way,” I insisted. She crossed her arms, pinning me with an accusing stare. “Then you wouldn’t have let her go.”
You said losing someone you love hurts like hell.
