Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb, #1)
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“You go first, Ninth,” she said. “Palamedes follows. I bring up the rear.”
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Curled up inside—hands bloodied, paint smeared, the skin beneath it the same oily grey as the cremains—was Harrowhark Nonagesimus.
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Gideon, who had spent the morning planning the wild, abandoned dance of joy with which she would greet Harrow’s dead body, turned back to Camilla and Palamedes.
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He said coolly: “Because I’m the greatest necromancer of my generation.” The unconscious figure sacked across Gideon’s shoulder muttered, “Like hell you are.” “Thought that would wake her up,” said Palamedes,
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“Touch me again and I’ll kill you,” said Harrow, scratch-throated, without opening her eyes. “I really will.” Gideon pulled her fingers back as though from a flame, and exhaled. “Good luck with that, bucko,” she said. “You look all mummification and no meat.”
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“I’m not saying it wouldn’t hurt me, Griddle,” she murmured. “I am just saying you’d be dead.”
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Didn’t I tell you to keep your pneumatic mouth shut? I would have been fine; I’d fainted; I was resting.” “And how I’m meant to know that,” said Gideon heavily, “I’ve got no idea. I want answers, and I want them yesterday.”
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So if you could see your way to being even ten percent less salty with me, that’d be just terrific.” Silence spread between them.
Kayden
Kiss x3
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“This calls for rigor, Nav.” “Maybe rigor … mortis,” said Gideon, who assumed that puns were funny automatically.
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All of this said a lot about the psyche of Harrowhark Nonagesimus, something about Palamedes Sextus,
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The necromancer could not hide a triumphant smile. It stretched her mouth and made her split lips bleed.
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“You could attempt to finish me right now, if you liked. You might even win.” “Shut up,” said Gideon, flat and grim.
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“Gideon Nav Talking Time. The Sixth must think we’re absolutely full of horseshit. I’m going down there with you because I am sick of doing nothing. If I have to wander around faking a vow of silence and scowling for one more day I will just open all my veins on top of Teacher. Don’t go down there solo. Don’t die in a bone. I am your creature, gloom mistress. I serve you with fidelity as big as a mountain, penumbral lady.”
Kayden
Hot
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Harrow massaged her temples with one hand and said, “I’m not yet so desperate for a new cavalier that I’m willing to recycle you.
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“Nav. Close one eye.” She would question later why she did it, but she did it.
Kayden
We know why
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But first, Griddle, I’m afraid I have to pass out.” And she crumpled neatly back onto the floor.
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Gideon couldn’t trust Harrow. There was always some angle. There was always some shackle closing on you before you could even see it, and you’d only know when she turned the key.
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She fiddled with long earrings of bone in front of the mirror and repainted her face twice. Gideon realised with no small amount of amusement and curiosity that Harrowhark was very frightened.
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Why on earth was she scared?
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Now, Gideon the Ninth—she could tell you a great deal if she were not bound to her admirable vow of silence. Your penitence shames me.”
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it was hot and spicy and good, which had completed Gideon’s requirements for a meal at hot.
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“I repeat, Babs, are you part of this conversation?”
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“Ninth … how big are your biceps?”
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Gideon looked around for Harrow.
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Gideon made sure her necromancer couldn’t see her, and then made a rude gesture.
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Harrow uttered a soft cry and swooped, but Gideon was quicker.
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Harrowhark Nonagesimus was looking at her with unalloyed admiration. “But for the love of the Emperor, Griddle,” she said gruffly, “you are something else with that sword.” The blood all drained away from Gideon’s cheeks for some reason. The world spun off its axis. Bright spots sparked in her vision. She found herself saying, intelligently, “Mmf.”
Kayden
RAAAAAAHHHHHHH KISS ALREADY
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“And it took me a while to work out what you were doing. Longer still to appreciate it. But I don’t think I’d ever really watched you, not in context … Well, all I can say is thank the Tomb that nobody knows you’re not really one of ours. If I didn’t know that, I’d be saying that you were Matthias Nonius come again or something equally saccharine.” “Harrow,” said Gideon, finding her tongue, “don’t say these things to me. I still have a million reasons to be mad at you. It’s hard to do that and worry that you got brain injured.”
Kayden
OH I’M RUINED
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She’d known before Harrow had rolled him over that before them lay the sad, crumpled corpse of Magnus Quinn, jumbled up with the sad, crumpled corpse of Abigail Pent.
Kayden
HELLO?!?!
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Dulcinea wailed out from Gideon’s arms, weak and shrill: “Pro!” but it was too late. The Eighth necromancer went down like a sack of dropped potatoes and twitched on the floor.
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“Poor Abigail and Magnus are dead already. I cannot guarantee the safety of any of you who remain down there another minute.”
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It was weirdly like their first day in Canaan House, in both suspicion and dullness, just with a bigger body count.
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“Are you suggesting that it was an accident?” “I would be very surprised if it were, Lieutenant Dyas,” said Teacher. “Not Magnus and Lady Abigail. A seasoned necromancer and her cavalier, and sensible adults in their own right. I do not think it was an unhappy misadventure. I think they were killed.”
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will not bother trying to keep it secret now. I told each of you who asked my permission to enter that place that it would mean your death. I did not say that figuratively.
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where is the motive? Who would harm the Fifth House?
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Who would have killed Magnus and Abigail? Neither of them would have ever hurt a fly. Isn’t it possible that the hatch was left up, and something happened, and it’s such a long fall … Who was in there? Ninth, wasn’t it you?”
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Gideon, who had been the one to turn the key, was oddly grateful that Harrowhark did not even bother looking in her direction: she simply said, “I am certain.”
Kayden
raaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
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“If there is a monster—it’s got to be hunted. If there’s a haunting—it’s got to be banished. Whatever was strong enough to kill Abigail and Magnus, it can’t be left alone.”
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With everyone’s permission, I’ll examine the bodies; anyone who wants to join me can do so.
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“Magnus likes you … liked … He wouldn’t have let anything happen to Abigail,” she added all in a rush. “She hated heights. She never would’ve risked falling. And she was a spirit magician. If it was ghosts, why couldn’t she—”
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“Look,” said Harrowhark. No murder, sorrow, or fear could ever touch Harrow Nonagesimus.
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She said irascibly, “At the key, moron, not at me.” The moron looked at the key, but did give her the middle finger.
Kayden
RAAAHHHH I love them
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“He was a stranger, Nav. Why does it affect you so much?” “He was nice to me,” she found herself saying.
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“Because he was a stranger, I think … He didn’t have to bother with me, to make time for me or remember my name, but he did. Hell, you treat me more like a stranger than Magnus Quinn did and I’ve known you all my life.
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Harrow’s hand, peeled and naked without a glove and stained with ink all the way up to her cuticles, appeared in front of her.
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“I must no longer accept,” she said slowly, “being a stranger to you.” “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said Gideon, sudden sweat prickling the back of her neck, “yes you can, you once told me to dig myself an ice grave. Stop before this gets weird.”
Kayden
I’m blushing!!!
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“The Sixth is always too enamoured of the body.” Gideon said nothing. Harrow continued: “Investigating the scene of death is barely useful, compared to discovering the motives of the living. Compared to why, the question of who killed Pent and Quinn is almost an aside.”
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Only to find her swearing under her breath. Harrow whispered a lot of fuck-words before muttering:
Kayden
Harrow is me, i am harrow
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“I never thought you’d actually help out,” said Gideon, grudgingly admiring. “Are you dim,” hissed Harrow. “If we didn’t agree, that bleeding heart Sextus would, and he’d have the key.” “Oh, whoops, my bad,” said Gideon. “For a moment I thought you weren’t a huge bitch.”
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Gideon jumped the gap, and turned back to see her necromancer hesitating on the edge, stranded. Why she did it Gideon didn’t know—Harrow could have built herself a bridge of bones any second—but she grasped a railing, leaned over, and proffered her hand. Why Harrow took it was an even bigger mystery.
Kayden
HM I WONDER WHY