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The sun was starting to rise as I drove away. I left my home. I left Texas. I left my family. And I left the love of my life. If I could have crawled out of my own skin, and out of my head, I would have left them behind too.
But Lila was our friend, she was one of us, and she was mine to protect. I’d decided from the day I met her, scared to death that she was going to drown in that creek, that I’d always be there to rescue her and keep her safe. So I didn’t want to think about if she was pretty or not.
“Because Rebel… if a guy is worth it…” He leaned in close, close enough that I could smell his minty breath, and wrapped a lock of my hair around his fingers, tugging it gently. It was playful but it felt like something else, especially with the way he was looking at me, his blue eyes darker, focused on my mouth. I wet my lips with my tongue, noticing the way his eyes followed and his breathing got shallow. “If he really likes you, he won’t even care if he has to shave his head because of you.”
Lila was mine. End of story.
“Because, Lila... if a guy won’t give you his favorite hoodie, he’s not worth your time.”
“Let’s go sit on the roof.” “The roof?” I tipped back my head, looking up at the gabled roof. How did he propose we get to the roof? “Yeah, Rebel, the roof. It’s closer to the stars. Trust me,”
“I’d never let you fall.”
“What happens when the stars fall, Jude?” “I’ll put them back in the sky for you,”
It’s good to wait until the right person comes along and when that right person comes along when you’re nine years old, that’s magical.”
“You’ll be lucky if you get to find out what this dirty mouth of mine can do.”
“It’s only ever been you,” he said, his voice low and husky in the stillness of my quiet bedroom. “Only you, Rebel.”
“Thank you, God, for not taking Jude away from me.”
“Baby. I love you. Tell me what I can do to make this better. I’ll do anything.” “Put the stars back in the sky, Jude. It’s so dark and lonely without them.”
“You need to find a way to forgive yourself. You’ve always been too hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect, Jude. Everyone makes mistakes. Just try not to make the same ones over and over again.”
I had to find a way to put the stars back in the sky.
“How can I not? Do you know how hard it is to be this close to you... to inhale the sweet, delicious scent of you... and not touch you?”
“It doesn’t matter what you wear. All I ever see is you.”
“Do you still love me?” “That was never a question. I have always loved you.”
“Thank you,” I said, turning in his arms and framing his face in my hands. “For what?” “For putting the stars back in the sky.” “You ain’t seen nothing yet, baby. I’m going to give you an entire universe.”
