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Panic is not conducive to thinking.”
Every encouragement brought him life, and every criticism felt like little deaths.
He pushed away thoughts of his past. What had happened happened. There was no point in lingering on it. Never again would he make himself so vulnerable that another person could destroy him.
Not pouring too much of himself into anything or anyone kept him safe.
“Besides, why should the princesses always get the prince? Dragons deserve happily ever afters, too.”
Such emotional vulnerability could open her up to the kind of hurt she never wanted to endure again.
saw you in watercolor. I saw you in pastels. I saw you when you were nearly transparent. You’re all I saw.”
“Never doubt that you’re a good person, and you can do whatever you set out to do.”
He’d been running too fast to take in the blurry images of his life. Everything was quieter, slower here.
He was having trouble ignoring his increasing need to reassess his life.
What was he doing? He’d vowed never to make himself vulnerable again—bearing his heart and soul for people to stomp on—because his heart wasn’t strong enough to be shattered a second time.
It had been so long since he had wanted something. Really wanted it. He’d been content with safe. With superficial success and satisfaction. But the thought of going back to that life made him feel hollow.
No matter how much he wanted to be with her, he would never ask her to give up her dreams for him. He couldn’t ask her for such a great sacrifice, because that wasn’t love. That was possessiveness.
“You’re making us sound like sad, unlucky souls.” “No, I disagree. I say we’re warriors for charging forward and making a great life for ourselves despite a rocky start to our adult lives.”
I have nothing left in me to love another person. I’m incapable of loving you.”
He did nothing wrong but love her. But … that was it. Loving her was wrong.
She was holding tight to the string that was keeping the stitches of her life together. One slipup, and she would unravel and fall apart piece by piece.
You might’ve finally found someone who really deserves you.” “But what if I’m not good enough for him?
would be demanding him to sacrifice who he is. I would be controlling his life, using his love against him. Sooner or later, he’s going to hate me for it.” “Did you ever ask him to stay with you? To give up his dream?” Aubrey asked. “No…” “He’s made his choice, and he chose you. You didn’t do anything to him other than being yourself. You never tried to manipulate him or control him. Tara, it’s his choice and he has every right to make his own decisions.”
He wanted to rush to her side and somehow ease her pain, but he was the source of her pain, wasn’t he?
he’s always been protective of me. He’s just rearing with guilt because I got hurt and there’s no way for him to fix it.”
She’d broken Seth’s heart in the harshest way possible and was trying to soothe her guilt and pain with tears. But she didn’t deserve to have her guilt and pain soothed away. She let the full force of her pain wash over her, and she buckled under its weight. But she wouldn’t turn away from it anymore.
Paying penance. Oh, God. He was right. Her guilt was making her find ways to make up for what she did to Seth by helping others. But how did that help Seth? She was such a mess.
“Jack, I broke his heart. How could I have broken his heart just because I was scared?” “Because you were scared, Tara. People make foolish decisions when they’re afraid.”
“Are you going to let ‘what if’ make the decision for you again?” “No.” Tara shook her head resolutely. “Never again.”
When she’d last come to Paris, she was bold, adventurous, and fearless. But after that summer, she’d let Jason take that away from her, and she’d lived in fear since. Well, no more. Loving Seth taught her that she didn’t have to curl into herself to protect her broken soul. Loving Seth meant opening up her heart so that he could help her heal. She could still be the bold, adventurous, and fearless woman she was meant to be. No. She already was that woman.
I think I’ve been trying to make up for what I did to you by helping other people.”
She was going to do everything in her power to convince Seth to give her another chance, but if it really was over, then she would go on. She wasn’t going to allow anyone or anything to erase who she was. She had the power to decide who she was and to live the life she chose.
“I didn’t mean it. Any of it. Especially the part when I said I could never love you. How could I never love you if I’m already in love with you?
He didn’t want to assuage her guilt. He wanted to love her.
He wished he could turn back time and protect her from all harm, but that wouldn’t be right. She was who she was because of her past. What he needed to do was listen, and stand by her as she healed.
I thought love was the destructive force that broke me. That’s why I was so frightened when you told me you loved me, because I knew I loved you, too. All I could think was that I didn’t want to go back to being that broken person. Or become a monster who breaks you.” Her voice cracked, but she continued with renewed strength, “But now I finally understand that it was the malice and the toxicity that made me lose myself. That’s the nature of abuse, not love. I won’t hide in shame and fear anymore. I survived soul-destroying abuse, and that’s a testament to my strength. I was so wrong to fear
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