Was I taking too much responsibility for solving the problems in my relationships by trying to control as many aspects of them as I could? I finally realized the futility of this—and the craziness of it. I can’t possibly control a relationship, because I can’t control how other people think or feel about me. The only thing that I can control is myself. If I’m solid in myself, happy in myself, confident in myself, well, that’s what I can bring to the table in a relationship. And I was beginning to understand that that’s the first step in having a healthy relationship, a relationship of partners
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