The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self

by Martha Beck

Physical pain comes from events. Psychological suffering comes from the way we deal with those events.

When we realize we’re off course, the best thing we can do is slow down or even stop in our tracks.

The first thing you did when you entered this world was breathe in. The last thing you’ll ever do is breathe out. Watch your breath reliably keeping you alive, without any effort on your part. For now.

On an inhale, think the words, I allow everything in the universe to be as it is in this moment. After all, you can’t make it different in this moment, so just stop trying. For now. As you exhale, think, I surrender all resistance to the universe being as it is in this moment. For now.

Pain comes from events, while suffering comes from the way we handle events—what we do about them and, especially, what we think about them.

Once you begin to question the truth of an inner demon, its days are numbered.

Once you’ve seen through a false assumption, you don’t need another belief to replace it. Getting out of hell doesn’t mean picking up a new set of chains, a new set of absolute beliefs. It means replacing rigid convictions with curious openness, to your own sense of truth in every moment.

In the pursuit of knowledge, every day something is added. In the practice of the Tao [Way], every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.

the ultimate self-help strategy, the one practice that could end all your suffering and get you all the way to happiness: Stop lying. Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And it is, from a logistical standpoint. We’ve already seen that lying is hard and toxic, while truth-telling is relaxing and healthy. Here’s the rub: if you stop lying, you’ll eventually, inevitably violate the rules of a culture that matters to you.

we’re capable of choosing our responses to other people and situations, no matter what.

African American feminist Audre Lorde once wrote, “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” When

“The function of freedom is to free someone else.”

we have to collectively identify places we’ve deviated from the truth as a culture—for example, by believing that we aren’t connected to one another or the natural world. Then we burn up our false assumptions, recognize our next steps toward truth, and change our actions.

as the windowpane of your mind grows more and more transparent, you will begin to love everything, and it will be obvious to you that everything loves you back.