Hate Me (Black Mountain Academy)

by Ashley Jade

Knox would rather swallow nails than go to that party. He might be a homicidal freak, but his disdain for the bullshit social hierarchy around here is something I can respect.

Well, not a boyfriend on account he’s definitely not a boy. Not to mention…married. Maybe that’s why I find myself saying yes. Not because of Ken… But because for once it would be nice to fit in, act like an eighteen-year-old, and have a sense of normalcy in my life for a night.

valid

“Sorry to bother you, I just—” My sentence jams in my throat when I realize it’s not my mother standing in the steam. It’s Knox. I’m about to walk out, but it’s too late. He’s already wrapping a towel around his waist and stalking toward me like an animal approaching their prey. I quickly back up and turn around. “What the hell is your problem?” My hand is already on the doorknob when Knox extends his arm past my head and slams it shut, trapping me. His warm breath tickles the side of my neck when he speaks, “You look like a whore.” Screw him.

He braces his arms on either side of my head, caging me in. “You’re right.” A smug smile curls his lips. “Whores are attractive…you’re not.” It’s obvious he wants a reaction from me, but I refuse to give him one. “Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?” I laugh, but there’s not an ounce of humor. “Do I run off and cry now because a worthless asshole like you deems me ugly?” I poke his bare, wet chest with my finger. “Sorry, but—” Words die in my throat when I feel the ridge of his cock dig into my stomach, hard and demanding. He can deny it all he wants, but the body doesn’t lie. Knox might hate me as much as I hate him…but he also wants me. And that knowledge fills me with an almost lethal dose of satisfaction. It’s my turn to smirk. “That’s funny. It sure doesn’t feel like you find me unattractive.”

A small drop of blood trickles down my cleavage and he runs the tip of his tongue along the crimson liquid, lapping it up. “On your knees, Stray. Now.” I loathe the way my nipple pebbles when he pinches it. “I won’t tell you again.” When I don’t move, his mouth hovers over my jugular, threatening. He’s a killer—I remind myself. You’re trapped in a room with a goddamn killer.

A knock on the door makes me jump. “Aspen, did you need something?” my mother chirps from the other side. Realizing it’s my chance at freedom, I speak up, “Y—” Knox takes the opportunity to shove his dick inside my open mouth. I’m too shocked to move for a few seconds. His grip on my hair tightens, and he thrusts his hips, forcing his cock so far down my throat, I can’t help but gag as my eyes begin to water. “You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, sis.” “Is everything okay?” my mother questions, sounding confused. “What’s going on?” As if sensing I’m about to bite the damn thing off, the asshole withdraws his dick. “Everything’s fine,” I tell her, my stomach churning with indignation. “I’m just looking for a curling iron.” “Oh. It’s on the fourth shelf in the closet.” She makes a sound of irritation in her throat. “I have to go, I’m late for my meeting with the caterers.”

But then he’ll know he won, and he’ll assume he’s the one with all the control. Fuck that. Before I can talk myself out of it, I part my lips and slide my mouth down his thick length, sucking him as deep as I can. Briefly, I see a flicker of surprise flash in his eyes before they squeeze shut, and he groans, almost like he’s in pain. “Fuck.” He braces one hand on the sink and clutches the side of my face with his free one. “Good girl.” Fighting the sudden rush of arousal that hits me, I scrape my teeth along his shaft, expecting to hear him squeal and push me away. But he doesn’t. “More.” He grunts, his grip on my face tightening. I bite down harder, but that only makes him grind out, “Is that all you got?” The tendons in his neck flex as a sheen of sweat dots his forehead. It’s obvious I’m hurting him. Yet, he’s also enjoying it. Almost like he’s the one controlling the pain—controlling me—instead of the other way around. “Come on, Stray,” he growls, his face tensing as he glares up at the ceiling. “Make me fucking bleed.” Holy shit. He’s crazier than I thought. “Jesus,” I exclaim, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“So you’d rather suck your stepbrother’s dick than have mommy dearest come to your rescue?” He rubs his chin. “Interesting.” It’s all I can do not to reach over and throttle him. “Fuck off. I didn’t want—” “Then you should have left.” Smirking, he inches closer. “But here you are.” His heated stare holds me frozen. “Christ, you’re pathetic.” I open my mouth to speak, but he brushes past me. “I know what you want…but it will never fucking happen.“ “I don’t want a damn thing from you, asshole,” I hiss before the door slams shut. But even as the words leave my lips, I know it’s a lie. Because buried deep down…beyond all the hurt and pain. Beyond all the lies I’ve convinced myself are the truth and all the truths I’ve forced myself to believe are lies… I want to know why something inside me comes alive whenever he’s near. I want to know what makes him tick and what makes him so evil. I wanted a battle…but he gave me a war.

“Is it good?” Ken questions. “It’s…strong.” I slip off his jacket because I’m feeling pretty warm now. “Want some?” He shakes his head. “Nah. I’m drinking beer. Can’t mix the two.” “Oh.” That’s when it occurs to me. “But I just took a sip of your beer before. Will—” He places his finger to my lips, silencing me. “Aspen.” “Yeah?” I answer, my head suddenly feeling ten times lighter than it did a moment ago. “Just relax.”

Everything is so fuzzy—almost like I’m floating. “Where—” I try to speak, but another wave of exhaustion sweeps over me. Faintly, I feel someone fumbling with the zipper on my jeans. Despite shaking my head and trying to push their hand away, they tug it down. It’s like I’m stuck in a movie or a bad dream where everything is happening around me, but I’m utterly powerless to stop it. I don’t know what’s going on or who’s touching me. “Dude, she’s totally trashed,” I hear someone who sounds a lot like Staci say before she laughs. “How much did you give her?” another female voice—my guess is Traci—asks. A flash of panic spirals through my system and I try to open my eyes, but they feel weighed down by bricks. “I don’t know. A lot since she’s fat.”

this is so😭😭

Most girls shave or wax everything until they look prepubescent—because society tells them that’s what men prefer—but not Aspen. While most of her cunt is smooth and bare, she intentionally left a neat, tiny strip of pubic hair…as if silently proclaiming a big fuck you to anyone who might doubt the validity of her natural hair color. Instinctively, I lean forward, smelling her scent and getting a better view. Her lips are every bit as pouty and plump as the ones on her face. Impulsively, my hand reaches out to touch her, but I swiftly come to my senses and yank my hand back. Aspen stirs, her thighs parting ever so slightly as her chest heaves, causing one pale pink nipple to pop out of her bra. I groan, my cock swelling painfully in my jeans. I could unzip my pants, whip it out, and give her no fucking choice but to take every inch of me. But then she’d know the truth. That as much as I loathe her with every fucking fiber of my being… I’m also completely fucking drawn to her. And I know deep down she feels the same. We’re like two magnets…the electrical currents running through us simultaneously repel and attract one another. I fucking hate it. Hate her.

“You like sucking this big cock don’t you, Aspen?” a familiar voice taunts, but I can’t quite place it. The video cuts off, but another one immediately gears up. “Open,” the guy instructs. The camera juts up slightly. Not enough to show his face, but enough that I can see the black and red letterman jacket he’s wearing. A second later, a gagging sound infiltrates my ears. “Yeah, that’s it,” the guy says, followed by the sound of laughter. “God, Aspen,” someone who sounds a lot like Staci chirps. “Who knew you were such a whore?”

storybook... But our lives were the farthest thing from a fairytale. I winced when she kneeled and palmed my cheek. “I’m sorry.” She was always sorry. But sorry wasn’t enough. Not when the same thing kept happening over and over…like a record skipping while playing one of the worst songs you ever heard.

My mother patted his tiny head with her finger. “Kermit it is.” I shifted uncomfortably, trying to gather the courage to ask. “Mom?” Her blue eyes softened. “Yeah?” I needed to know why. Why did it hurt so much? Why did she let it happen? Why did I deserve it? The sound of the front door opening upstairs made me jump, and I lost my nerve. “Nothing.” She ran up the staircase while I went off in search of a safe place to keep Kermit. Too bad I could never find one for myself.

Getting out of bed, he swipes his phone off the nightstand. “Here’s some advice, Stray. When two bitches who have always been cunts to you invite you to hang out…don’t fucking do it.”

“You were soaked and shivering. Trust me, it wasn’t like I wanted to see your hairy little snatch.” Mortified, my cheeks flame, but I quickly recover. “Well, if you’re expecting a thank—” “I’m not.”

“Aspen.” He waits for me to look at him before he says, “If I wanted to set you up, I’d do it myself. I wouldn’t enlist other people to do my dirty work for me.”

“You threatened me.” He takes a long drag from his cigarette and exhales, blowing the smoke in my direction. “And every action has a consequence.”

“Ninety-nine percent of the girls walking around school have had a cock in their mouth, Stray. You’re not fucking special.” “That may be true, but they weren’t drugged and taped without their—” “Boo fucking hoo,” he taunts before his voice evens out. “Just because their perception of you has shifted, doesn’t mean yours has to.”

aww how sweet

Because projecting the image I want people to see is something I’ve always been good at.

“Please,” he begs when I raise the baton above my head again. “I’ll do anything you want, Knox. Anything.” I pause, deciding to have a little fun with him. “Anything?” He nods emphatically. “Anything, man. Just don’t end my career over some bitch that neither of us like.”

“But since you’re offering to give me whatever I want…I should probably take you up on it, huh?” Stepping between his legs, I stroke my chin. “Decisions, decisions.” He swallows thickly. “Whatever it is, I got you.” He starts rattling off a stream of suggestions. “Need me to fuck someone up for you? I’ll do it. Want me to wash your jeep? I’ll make it happen. Buy you lunch every day for the rest of the year? You got it, bro. Hell, I’ll even rub your feet—” “I want you to suck my dick.” Disgust twists his features. “What the fuck? I’m not a faggot.” I hold his stare. “Why not? It’s the same thing you made Aspen do to you after those bitches drugged her.” Shrugging, I motion to the baton. “But since you refuse, I’ll just have to finish what I started.” He eyes me warily. “Okay.” I cup my ear. “What’s that?” Deflated, he drops his head. “I’ll do it.” Undoing my zipper with my free hand, I move closer. “You gonna swallow my load like a good boy, too?” He looks like he’s about to gag. “Jesus.” “Are you?” I bite out, taking my cock out of my pants. His eyes snap shut. “Whatever you want.” I take out my phone and press the record button. “You’re gonna like sucking this big cock, aren’t you?” When he doesn’t answer, I grab the back of his head. “Tell me how much you’re gonna like sucking it.” “I’m gonna like sucking your big cock,” he grits through his teeth. “Now can we get this shit over with?”

“To answer your question from earlier, you don’t get to fuck with Aspen because she’s mine.” Which means the only one who gets to hurt her is me.

“Can we help you with something?” Traci questions. Leaning against a locker, I cross my arms. “I heard you two were the ones behind the video.” Staci bats her eyelashes innocently. “What video?” Traci shares a grin with her friend. “We have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Too bad,” I say dismissively as I turn to walk away. “I thought it was pretty badass, but if it wasn’t you—” “Wait,” Staci chirps. Traci’s voice drops to a whisper. “It was us.” Staci giggles. “I mean, obviously. I posted it on my Instagram story.” “Knox doesn’t have Instagram,” Traci informs her with a crinkle of her nose. “He’s too cool for it.”

No shit. They’re both annoying cunts who hide behind their makeup and filters and think their shit doesn’t stink when it fucking reeks.

“Aspen’s so annoying,” Traci says with a roll of her eyes. “Always walking around with her nose in the air like she’s better than everyone else.” Pot meet kettle. “Plus, she’s fat,” Staci adds. Aspen isn’t fat. Then again, standing next to these two would make a skeleton look chubby, but that’s irrelevant.

She looks like I plunged a knife into her heart. Good.

My stomach drops because when the whole school receives a mass text message, it’s never a good thing. “I really hope it’s not a shooter,” Brie whispers, whipping out her phone. “Me too—” I start to say, until I see a text from an unknown number. Or should I say…video.

oh lord

“If you want this dick,” a deep, familiar voice says, “then touch each other and make out.”

“Holy shit,” someone calls out. “This dude is my fucking hero.” Poor Brie looks like a tomato, but just like the rest of us, she’s unable to peel her gaze from her phone screen. Knox’s voice drops. “Now tell her thank you by taking off her panties and giving her cunt a kiss.” The girls freeze, hesitation flickering in their eyes. “Seriously?” Staci says after a minute, her bare breasts now on display. “Come on, ladies,” a guy at the next table yells and everyone chortles. “Don’t stop now.” “I thought you two wanted to have some fun?” Knox questions. “We do but…” Staci pauses, looking at her friend. “Even if we agreed, we wouldn’t let you film it.” “But I thought you liked filming things?” Knox taunts and I can’t help but notice the shadow on the wall. It looks like he’s stroking himself. “Do you want this cock or not?” “Come on, Staci,” Traci urges. “It’s not like you haven’t done it before. Remember Paris?” “Oh shit,” someone calls out. “What the hell happened in Paris?”

Brie’s eyes lock with mine from across the table. “It’s safe to say everyone will talk about that video now.” “Yeah—” my sentence jams in my throat when I see Knox enter the cafeteria. He folds his arms over his chest, his dark stare zeroing in on me as my phone vibrates with another text. This time from him. Knox: You’re welcome. When I look up, he’s already gone.

open the passenger door of the jeep. “Don’t get mad at me because your non-boyfriend fucked someone else.” I dig the knife a little deeper since I’ve never been a fan of her. “Actually…make that two someone’s.” “You cock-sucking bitch.” She lunges for me, but Knox grabs her. “Go home, Shadow.” “We’re so over.” She points a shaky finger at him. “I mean it.”

was only trying to ruffle his feathers, but then I realize, “You did fuck them?” His lips curve as he pulls out of the parking lot. “You don’t own my dick either, Stray.” “Trust me.” I avert my gaze out the window. “I want nothing to do with you or your dick.”

Knox pushes some food around his plate. “Study, watch movies…” Fuck and fight. Trent clutches his fork so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t bend in half. “Well, all this supposed studying isn’t paying off since you only received a C on your last math test.”

“She’s not my sister.” Knox gets out of his chair with so much force it tips backward. “But she is a brainiac who can solve math problems in her sleep.”

“More…meaning—” “Just more.” He pounds the steering wheel with his fist. “I want you to want me to leave my wife. I want you to ask me how my day is going because you care about me. I want you to let me take care of you.” His voice lowers a fraction. “I’m in love with you, Aspen.” I feel many things for Leo, but love will never be one of them. Love is bullshit.

For starters, I’m already sleeping with my potential boss, and having sex with someone who signs your paychecks is a big no-no. Plus, if we ever ended things, that could make things super awkward and I’d be unemployed.

His words are sweet and I can’t help but smile. “I appreciate everything you do for me.” He scoffs. “I hardly do anything for you, honey.” “That’s not true.” He’s here. Which is a lot more than I can say for my father. Or my mother.

guess that’s going to be a thing now. “Fine, you twisted my arm. You can buy me two things off the value menu now.” Tilting my head, I kiss his thumb. “Thank you.” His brows draw together. “For what?” For being here when no one else is.

There’s a thin line between hate and lust…and he walks across it like a tightrope master.

Wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips, Knox makes a beeline for the coffeepot on the counter. I can’t help but notice he likes his black…just like his soul. Glaring, I reach for the French vanilla creamer on the island and pour more into my mug.

“Stray,” he snaps, forcing my gaze up. “What?” He grabs one half of his bagel from the toaster. “Stop staring at my dick like you want it for breakfast.” I open my mouth to tell him I’d rather dine on rat poisoning, but he’s already walking away.

But I’ll never know…because she’s dead. Violet frowns. “As sad as it is, there’s really nothing we can do about it. We have no clue what Candi was into when she wasn’t at work. For all we know, she could have been involved with the wrong crowd.” Reaching over, she gives my shoulder a squeeze. “We’re late for class, though. I’ll see you at work later, okay?” “Yeah.” She’s almost to the door when the bad feeling brewing in my gut grows. “Violet?” “Yeah?” “Just…stay safe.” She gives me a warm smile. “Everything will be fine, Aspen. Sometimes bad shit happens. I’m sure the police will figure out who did it and lock them up soon.” Yeah, she’s probably right. But just to make sure, I know exactly who I can ask.

I brush my hand along his fur, hoping I don’t startle it away. However, the kitty is so tired, it makes no protest about being touched. “Hey, buddy. Where’s your mama?” Because a kitten this small is definitely still nursing. I glance around the yard, hoping to find a larger cat somewhere…but there’s no sign of her. “What are you doing?” I jump at the sound of Knox’s voice behind me. Turning my head, I look up at him. “Did you know there was a kitten in the backyard?” His face scrunches as he glances down. “No.” He starts to walk inside, but I halt him. “Where were you? I knocked on your door.” He gestures to the sweatpants and damp t-shirt he’s wearing. “I went for a run.” His eyes narrow. “What do you want?” Telling him about Candi is going to have to wait because I need to get some food into this kitten. “Right now? A can of tuna.” His lips curl. “You shouldn’t feed strays.” “If I don’t, he’ll die, asshole,” I shoot back, glaring at him. Visibly annoyed, he rubs the back of his head. “Fine.” I pet the kitten, trying my best to console him. “Hang on, little guy. You’re gonna get food soon.” A few minutes later, Knox returns with an open can of tuna. “Here.” I place it in front of the kitten, but he’s so lethargic, he doesn’t move. Not even when I place some on my finger. “Come on, baby,” I urge. “Take one little bite.” “Maybe he wants to be left the fuck alone.” “He’ll die if I leave him alone. Something must have happened to his mother.” Swallowing...

Three hours later, I have the kitten—who’s evidently a female—swaddled in a blanket in my arms as I feed her formula from a dropper. While sitting on the floor of Knox’s bedroom. Smoking his cigarette, he glares at me from across the room. “It will only be for a few days,” I assure him. “As soon as Whiskers is healthy, she’ll go back to being an outdoor cat.” But I’ll make sure to stock up on cat food and sneak her some every day after school so she doesn’t go hungry. He glowers. “Whiskers?” I stroke Whisker’s fur. “I figured she should have a name during her stay.” I smile as her tiny whiskers tickle my fingers. “Whiskers is cute. Just like she is.” He grunts. After Whiskers is done eating, she curls up into the blanket on the floor. “She’s only three weeks old, so she’ll need to eat every three to four hours.” He glances at his watch. “Guess your ass will be back down here at two a.m. then.” I should have expected nothing less from him. Knox doesn’t have a nice bone in his body…not even when it comes to poor, innocent animals. Although, he did give me a ride to the vet and albeit, reluctantly— agreed to let Whisker’s stay down here for a few days. “For what it’s worth, I appreciate you doing this.”

I guess he has a point. “I don’t know.” Looking down, I wring my hands. “She was murdered, Knox…then left out in the woods to rot like a piece of garbage. And the people who can help figure out who did it don’t seem to give a shit just because she took off her clothes for a living.” My arms curl around my frame. “I know what it feels like to know that no one in the world gives a fuck about you. And the more I think about it, I’m realizing that it could have easily been me who was murdered instead of her.” I shrug. “I guess I’d just like to know someone would still fight for me if it was.”

“Aspen,” he barks when I head for the staircase. “What?” When I turn to look at him, I see he’s already charging toward me. I take a step back, but he takes a step forward, cornering me into the wall. His dark gaze lingers on my mouth as he trails a finger down my cheek. I flinch because the gesture is so gentle and I’m not used to that from him. “What are you doing?” I question. “You told me I could have whatever I wanted earlier.” My pulse quickens when he fists my hair, drawing me closer. His breath brushes my lips. It’s a teasing whisper of a caress that has my nipples pebbling under my t-shirt. My eyes flutter closed and I part my lips…waiting for him to kiss me. But he doesn’t. And for reasons I can’t explain…I almost need him to. “That right there.” His voice is gruff. Taunting. “That’s exactly what I wanted.” I shove at his chest. “You’re an asshole.” He laughs as I march toward the stairs, but then it comes to an abrupt halt and his tone goes serious. “Stray?” “What?” “Leave my father alone. The less you piss him off, the better. For everyone.”

At least it’s something positive. Well, aside from Whiskers. According to Knox, she’s overstaying her welcome, but I think he kind of enjoys having her around, too. The other day I noticed a small litter box next to her blanket and since I didn’t buy it for her, it must have been him.

My next class is History, and it’s my favorite…mostly because I get to stare at Mr. Donati and his gorgeous blue eyes for forty whole minutes. I do a quick sweep of the classroom as I walk in. My stomach drops when I pass by Shadow’s desk and notice she’s still absent. The last time I saw her was when she was hysterically crying on my front lawn. I’ve tried bringing it up to Knox, but he said it wasn’t his responsibility to keep tabs on the bitches he screws. He’s a real class act.

feel like I’m going to faint the moment I see the words, congratulations and scholarship. I did it.