Dying with Her Cheer Pants On
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Read between July 30 - August 2, 2024
3%
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Funny, the things that stop seeming like the end of the world when the world is really ending.
14%
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It was one more concrete reminder that the universe was under no obligation to make sense, now or ever, or to arrange itself for the convenience of the people who had to live in it. The universe did whatever the hell it wanted to do, and if what it wanted to do was be utterly ridiculous and completely brutal at the same time, that was what it was going to go with.
17%
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Children spend so much time being told that monsters and the like are products of their imagination, and may not tell anyone about something potentially dangerous because they think it can’t possibly exist; teenagers have aged out of those halcyon days of imaginary palaces and monsters under every bed. When a teenager sees a monster, the odds are good that a monster exists, even if they get the details wrong.
35%
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The pee-wee baseball team saves the world twice a season, and so does the sewing circle down at the retirement home.
45%
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I was tired of not knowing things, but there were some things that weren’t worth knowing. Knowledge was pain. I didn’t want to hurt.
47%
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Cutting class is an art form, and we are the Picassos of Johnson’s Crossing High.”
50%
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Why would anyone choose good taste over visibility in that sort of situation? Wear the brightest colors in the world. Announce your strength and stamina and sheer awesomeness the same way that poisonous animals announced how dangerous they were: be the most visible thing anywhere.
80%
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Little known fact: Australia actually is a spider. A very large one. When it wakes up, we’re going to have problems.”
85%
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It was hard not to think that maybe their cheerleading squads would attract fewer cosmic horrors if they’d stop theming them all after a harvest fair gone completely feral and hungry for human flesh.