More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Part of the problem is cognitive laziness. Some psychologists point out that we’re mental misers:10 we often prefer the ease of hanging on to old views over the difficulty of grappling with new ones. Yet there are also deeper forces behind our resistance to rethinking. Questioning ourselves makes the world more unpredictable. It requires us to admit that the facts may have changed, that what was once right may now be wrong. Reconsidering something we believe deeply can threaten our identities, making it feel as if we’re losing a part of ourselves.
Psychologists call this seizing and freezing.
Progress is impossible without change;1 and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. —GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
overrated .
. .
Thinking like a scientist involves more than just reacting with an open mind. It means being actively open-minded.
Jason Adam Katzenstein/ The New Yorker Collection/ The Cartoon Bank; © Condé Nast
A bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing.
When adults have the confidence to acknowledge what they don’t know, they pay more attention to how strong evidence is and spend more time reading material that contradicts their opinions.34 35 In
Great thinkers don’t harbor doubts because they’re impostors. They maintain doubts because they know we’re all partially blind and they’re committed to improving their sight. They don’t boast about how much they know; they marvel at how little they understand. They’re aware that each answer raises new questions, and the quest for knowledge is never finished. A mark of lifelong learners is recognizing that they can learn something from everyone they meet.
On Seinfeld, George Costanza famously said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
One of the world’s leading experts on conflict is an organizational psychologist in Australia named Karen “Etty” Jehn. When you think about conflict, you’re probably picturing what Etty calls relationship conflict—personal,6 emotional clashes that are filled not just with friction but also with animosity.
Psychologists find that many of our beliefs are cultural truisms:38 widely shared, but rarely questioned. If we take a closer look at them, we often discover that they rest
Calvin & Hobbes © 1993 Watterson. Reprinted with permission of ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION. All rights reserved.
New research reveals that people are more likely to promote diversity and inclusion when the message is more nuanced (and more accurate):35 “Diversity is good, but it isn’t easy.”fn4Acknowledging complexity doesn’t make speakers and writers less convincing; it makes them more credible. It doesn’t lose viewers and readers; it maintains their engagement while stoking their curiosity.
What works is not perspective-taking but perspective-seeking: actually talking to people to gain insight into the nuances of their views. That’s what good scientists do: instead of drawing conclusions about
In a productive conversation, people treat their feelings as a rough draft. Like art, emotions are works in progress. It rarely serves us well to frame our first sketch. As we gain perspective, we revise what we feel. Sometimes we even start over from scratch.
there’s new territory to be explored or a fresh puzzle to be solved.
The standard advice for managers on building psychological safety is to model openness and inclusiveness. Ask for feedback on how you can improve, and people will feel safe to take risks.
© Hayley Lewis, Sketchnote summary of A Spectrum of Reasons for Failure. Illustration drawn May 2020. London, United Kingdom. Copyright © 2020 by HALO Psychology Limited.
23. Stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. They don’t have to define themselves in terms of a career. A single identity can close the door to alternatives. Instead of trying to narrow their options, help them broaden their possibilities. They don’t have to be one thing—they can do many things.

