More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Are you telling anyone else about the wedding?” “Can you imagine? Pitches on one side of the Chapel, vampires on the other.” “That would put me in a very awkward position.”
“Are you sleeping with a full set of cutlery or just the knife?” “Don’t have a sword,” he mumbles, like that explains it. “Come back to bed.” “I wasn’t in bed.” “Don’t be a dick.”
Girl?
I take off my socks and my trousers, my button-down shirt, and—after a second of deliberation—my T-shirt. It feels strange to get undressed without anyone requesting it or giving me permission. I suppose I’m requesting it. I’m the one who wants it.
When did this become a whorehouse
I touch his side, his skin, his ribs. He thinks he’s fat—he isn’t. He just isn’t a starving teenager anymore. He’s solid and stalwart. And so warm
“Do you feel like you’re in bed with a vampire?” “Yes,” he says. Then laughs. I move my hands down to his sides, where it’s safe to pinch him. “Ouch,” he laughs. “I’m injured.” I pinch him again, just above his waistband. He’s still laughing. He tries to push my arms away. “Ouch. Stop. I meant—‘not in a bad way.’”
“What I need is to be able to trust you.” “You can, Baz. Trust me to make the right decision. In the moment. Trust me to think on my feet.”
“You’re infuriating,” I say. He kisses my cheek. Quickly. “Be infuriated later.” “No. You’ve run out of extensions.”
I let you down. And yet you don’t stop…” “I don’t stop?” Simon swallows; it’s my favourite show. “Loving me.”
Fuck
I’ve wanted this … With Simon … Since I knew how to want.
it isn’t what I thought it would be. It’s like I dreamed of kissing him in black-and-white, and now I’m kissing him in colour.
“I’m not disappointed.” “I know,” he says, kissing me. “You don’t let me down.” “It’s all right, Baz.” He kisses me. Then kisses me again. “As long as you—”
“As long as we—” I say when he takes a breath. He pushes his tongue back into my mouth, and it’s obscene. His mouth is getting wetter and sweeter. I groan and give up on my sentence. As long as we keep on trying,
Simon
and I’m pushing my fingertips down the side of his pants, because I want to, and this is what’s happening, I think. Simon growls and lifts up off of me. “I’m sorry—” I say immediately, sitting up. But Simon is pushing his jersey boxer briefs down,
“I love you,” Simon says, settling over me again, all skin and bones and belly. “I’ll keep getting better for you, I promise.”
I cant
What could be better than this? “You don’t have to,” I say. “Yeah…” He takes my chin in hand again. “I do.”
Baz came back. This morning. He was always going to come back. I think he always will, if I make it good for him. I think he wants this, wants me. And I’m going to make it so good for him. This morning. This life.
Stop
I’m being gentle—it’s already easier, now that I know how much he likes it. The way he goes boneless when I hold him like china.
Oh
I’m going to keep finding out what he likes. This is what people do. They get close and try to stay there. They stay.
I’ll keep trying. To keep him well. To keep him happy.
<3333
“You smell so good,” I say. His eyes are half closed. “Like a cave.” “Like cold water.” “That’s not a smell, Snow.”
“Stay with me,” he whispers. “Don’t get lost in it.”
Punching the fucking air
Maybe this is enough. Simon. Finally. Beside me. Maybe it’s too much. Maybe I’m the one getting lost …
“I need—” “What do you need, babe?” I hold on to his cheeks. “I need you to know that I’m not disappointed in you.” “Baz, it’s okay. I know.” “I believe in you.”
“Do you trust me?” He knows I do. That I did, even when I hated him. (I never hated him.) “Yes.” “Can I touch you?” I nod my head.
Not your strongest soldier ok?
A few hours later, Baz is sitting on my bed with his violin,
Bisilton make it stop
ya hermano god
I didn’t know Baz’s violin was capable of cheerful noises. At Watford, it always sounded like it was crying.
“This is Excalibur?” “It’s an Excalibur,” she says. “Made by Merlin himself.” “I don’t understand…” Simon says. Neither do I. But if this means Snow is the once and future king, I can’t say I’ll be surprised at this point.
Si.
