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September 23 - September 25, 2024
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
“As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation,”
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.”
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
will speak ill of no man,” he said, “… and speak all the good I know of everybody.”
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he...
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Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr Johnson said, “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge a man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?
“Everybody likes a compliment.”
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
“Once I did bad and that I heard ever, twice I did good, but that I heard never.”
The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.
“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”
I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.
“If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
“People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.”
“self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.”
“First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”
In a Nutshell Fundamental Techniques In Handling People • Principle 1 – Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. • Principle 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation. • Principle 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.
“There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.”
“most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
“To recall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion.”
“Good manners,” said Emerson, “are made up of petty sacrifices.”
“few human beings are proof against the implied flattery of rapt attention.”
Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish. Bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence. Do you know people like that? I do, unfortunately; and the astonishing part of it is that some of them are prominent. Bores, that is all they are, bores intoxicated with their own egos, drunk with a sense of their own importance. People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves. And “those people who think only of themselves,” Dr Nicholas Murray Butler, longtime president
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Ways To Make People Like You • Principle 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people. • Principle 2 – Smile. • Principle 3 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. • Principle 4 – Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. • Principle 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. • Principle 6 – Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.”
“Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.”
“One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.”
“Be diplomatic,” counseled the King. “It will help you gain your point.”
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
“He who treads softly goes far.”
“If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.”
I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person – from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives – was likely to answer.
“The way to get things done,” say Schwab, “is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.”
In A Nutshell – Win People To Your Way Of Thinking Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Principle 2 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” Principle 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. Principle 4 Begin in a friendly way. Principle 5 Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately. Principle 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Principle 7 Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. Principle 8 Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. Principle 9 Be
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“Assume a virtue, if you have it not.”
In A Nutshell Be A Leader A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this: Principle 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Principle 2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Principle 3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Principle 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Principle 5 – Let the other person save face. Principle 6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Principle 7 –
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“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
“It is an amazing but true thing that practically the only people who ever say mean, insulting, wounding things to us are those of our own households.”
Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier Rule 1: Don’t nag. Rule 2: Don’t try to make your partner over. Rule 3: Don’t criticize. Rule 4: Give honest appreciation. Rule 5: Pay little attentions. Rule 6: Be courteous. Rule 7: Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
