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March 22 - March 23, 2024
Lying to oneself is one of the most idiotic habits. Just one more won’t hurt. Maybe this time will be different. How gullible do you have to be to believe a lie that you yourself tell yourself?
I drink in this unguarded moment, this private performance of bravery.
Does she wear her business suit while lounging around in her own hotel room? Does she take off the jacket? What about the tie? I close my eyes. The goddamn tie!
Warmth spreads across my chest as I watch her take one and set it on a plate. She picks it apart and eats it in her bird-like way. At one point, she closes her eyes in pleasure. It’s a rich pastry, and she’s enjoying the forbidden hell out of it, and I’m enjoying the hell out of her.
“Maybe I’ve come to plunder the secret to your relationship success,” I say. He gives me a look and I think that he realizes that is my question.
“A relationship is just about showing up,” he says. “It’s all you can really do. Show up. Say things. Hang in there. Do your best.”
It’s midnight and there’s no yesterday and no tomorrow and I’ve gotten lost with the villain in my story.
During negotiations, I always know what to say to pull a person toward a given goal, a given destination. What do I say when a person herself is the goal? When she is the destination? Her feelings, her well-being.
People don’t always see him clearly, the unlicked cub alone in his castle, but he sees them.

