My father back then believed in beating Black boys the way Black boys are supposed to be beaten. For our own good, he would say. Meant to toughen us up for a world where white people feed off our pain and to teach us that we cannot give them the satisfaction. Any Black boy who did not signify how manly he was at all times deserved to be punched back up to God to be remade, reshaped. Sometimes I would look up into his face after my ass-whuppin’ and I could feel the apology radiating off of him. But he would never apologize because he wanted to teach me that the world wouldn’t.
