One of the reasons I took this trip is to prove to myself that I am allowed to take up space in the world. I used to believe that the space I occupied was conditional. That I had to please anyone and everyone around me in order to exist because I had made the horrible mistake of being different. The other reason I came here is because, lately, I have been thinking about my own death. I used to wish myself dead all the time. I’ve even tried to bring it about. But I am not thinking about my death like that any longer. Now I worry that my death will come to pass and with my final breath, I will
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