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Cosy nooks are fantastic, no matter how old you are.
Place furniture around a window or a fireplace rather than a TV. This will stimulate not just family time and quietness but also give you more opportunities for niksen. Chances are if we’re staring at a TV, it will only be a matter of time before we have the remote in our hands.
What our children need, she says, is a feeling of belonging. They want to know that it’s OK for them to be here. ‘Chores are a perfect way to give our children a sense of responsibility, and it will also make them feel that they belong. They will benefit from the sense of agency it gives them.’
boredom the greatest gift he can give his children.
‘Children see parents’ behaviour as social proof of what’s right. If children see parents on their phones all the time, then children follow that route as well. That is role modelling,’ he explains.
give life a chance to just be lived, trust, rest. When
being comfortable enough to sit quietly with somebody
World Health Organization guidelines recommend 30 minutes of movement a day, five days a week.
Hobbies bring us into a state of flow and help us relax, allow us to do or create something that is not work and not in service of the family. Niksen can fit seamlessly into that definition. ‘I’d say hobbies are important in life because they offer a break from the rest of our life. Look for hobbies that take your mind off that which you’re usually doing,’ says
Nature, too, offers great opportunities for niksen.
Cognition requires conscious thought. ‘We
Mental action or process
‘Standing in line at the supermarket, don’t get out your phone, just look around, daydream,’ she says.
At home, it is important that chores are the responsibility of all family members so that everyone can enjoy niksen time, and it’s a good idea to have a niksen space, like a nook you can settle into
She understands that we can always learn from other cultures, but ‘you can never do another culture 100 per cent because it’s embedded in that particular setting.
Sometimes I read a self-help or a parenting book hoping it will help me find a better way of raising my children or
living my life, only to realise that I don’t really need to change anything and that my parenting skills and my life are just fine. Not perfect, but good enough.
Ruut Veenhoven, ‘don’t take medicine if there is no disease’.
gezelligheid with friends – are perfectly suited to induce flow.
A bit of movement can help you remove some stress from your system, clear your head and shake off your worries – sometimes literally.
Physical exercise and being out and about go very well with niksen. Remember, the Dutch are all about balance, and they manage to fit all sorts of activities into their busy agendas. What’s more, being active and connecting with others can also help you appreciate coming home and relaxing, spending some quiet time by yourself doing nothing. So, all that exercise and sociability can actually increase your niksen time.
Work might be a major reason we feel stressed, but work also makes us feel fulfilled, happy and useful.
‘People who have jobs in which they can help others or inspire other people are happier,’ says Ap Dijksterhuis.
Reach out and help
Another way you can help is by giving space to others. While it’s not exactly niksen, it does sometimes mean just sitting there doing nothing. While you sit, you’re actually listening and being present for someone else, and that can be hard because you might really want to say something or offer advice. Instead, you just sit quietly and listen. My husband calls this active niksen.
It doesn’t really matter if you’re cooking, painting, crocheting, or scrapbooking. The important thing is that you remove yourself from the busyness of real life for a while in a way that doesn’t require much brain space, so that you can reap the benefits of niksen while you’re at it. Repetitive activities like colouring or knitting work best, but each of us should find what feels good.
And as an extra bonus, when we distract ourselves by creating something tangible and beautiful that we can touch and admire, we also boost our self-esteem.
Listening to the body allows for interoception, a process by which our brains make sense of the signals coming from the body. Disrupted interoception is now known to play a part in mood and anxiety disorders. So, taking a moment to sit and understand the body signals is a great way to spend time. If
In the Netherlands, which is situated largely below sea level and where rising sea levels are an imminent threat, the question of climate change is even more pressing. ‘The year 2100, 2400 or 4000 AD could be a possible best-before date for the Netherlands’,
strive towards something the Dutch do very well: contentment. They are happy but they are not abundantly or extraordinarily so. Their happiness is generally more subdued, quieter.
In fact, it’s contentment that comes from having ample free time, feeling like appreciated members of a community, and knowing they have a stable support network to fall back on should disaster strike in the form of sickness or unemployment, for instance.
It’s better for children to feel they don’t need to excel. It’s better to know how to be yourself and know what your talents are, what you are good at, and focus on that. We don’t all have to be heroes.
We, the Nikseneers, are done with wellness trends that tell us we should do more, buy more, or be better. We’re fine just the way we are and we’re owning it.
better decision-makers
When you’ve just arrived for work, don’t rush but try to switch from home mode to work mode by sitting down for a few minutes and doing nothing.
Do the same just after you’ve finished work and are ready to go home.
Organise your home so that it becomes niksen-friendly. Comfy chairs, sofas and reading (or niksening) nooks are a great way to help you ease into niksen time.
When you’re not working or doing chores, try to relax by sitting down and doing nothing, even if it’s just for a few minutes before you have to go and take care of the next thing.
Mark the end of every chore by niksening for a few minutes.
When you’re tired after a long day at work or with the children (or both) but you don’t want to go to bed yet, niks away.
When you’re in bed but can’t fall asleep, get up and make yourself some chamomile tea and niks with it. Or stay in bed and do nothing for a while.
When you’re queuing up to pay for your groceries, that’s a great niksen opportunity right there.
Same if you’re waiting for your doctor’s appointment.
2. Be tolerant of other people’s niksen time A typical trait of the Dutch is the so-called verzuiling, or pillarisation, which can be described as ‘to each their own’ or ‘live and let live’. What this means is that while everyone is expected to contribute to society, just about all lifestyle choices are either openly accepted or at least tolerated.
