Take What You Can Carry

by Gian Sardar

And ruthless. What they do to people, to get information. And there are rumors,” he adds, “that someone in my family is an informant.” “You think it’s true?” “Of course not. The military starts the rumors. It’s a tactic. To break up families.” “So what do the rumors matter?” “It means my family is being looked at.”

“Careful,” Delan says from the stove. “If you tell a Kurd you like something, even a small comment, it’s custom for them to give it to you. And be warned, there will be more presents.”

Most of the time what could’ve happened is the great story.

Yes, her mother died when she was young and yes, it was loss, horrifying loss that emptied her of everything for years, but her father’s love tipped the scale back to where it should be, and her childhood was, all in all, happy. And yet that, her father’s achievement, raising a daughter on his own, that she does not speak of. As if having an amazing father in one’s life disqualifies one from being an artist.

His life might be short, but he will make a difference. Kem bizhi kell bizhj: Live short, live proud.”

“Live big and bold and brave. That’s what my dad says. Similar. About impact. Making the most of your blip in time.”

Love is the only thing that makes me not think. I cannot talk myself out of loving someone.

Family sometimes just happens, Soran had told her. “Delan,” she says. “Bring her home.”

This made me happy cry

There is nothing about this contest that was worth handing over the end of someone I loved’s life to be hung on a fucking wall. So maybe you’re right, and you are a better photographer, since you had no problem doing just that.”

A murmuration. This is what Hewar talked about with starlings, what Delan translated. We’re talking thousands of birds, and not one bird leading. All synchronized but without a leader. Because each one connects, really connects, to its neighbors, to the ones around them. And with that, thousands move as one.

And she will remember this day with the birds in the sky, that sometimes you must stop and look up because magic exists whether you see it or not, and it’s so much better to get the glimpse.

The power of a picture. And Delan will draw her to him and whisper in her ear. The power of someone who loves.