Fragile Longing

by Cora Reilly

How can you beat a memory? You can’t.

Pity was gifted but everything worth receiving had to be deserved.

No, he was going to kill me slowly, splinter me into millions of pieces of despair and hurt.

I’d changed whenever he’d been around, trying to adapt to his behavior, trying to anticipate his wishes. Trying to be whoever he wanted me to be. To become who I thought he wanted me to be, I’d lost myself. I’d sold myself short,

I’d given up myself to please someone else, and that whatever person you portrayed it would always be less than what your real self could be.

But I was done finding excuses for his actions, done trying to be what he wanted, what he needed, because so far, he’d done nothing to deserve my kindness or affection.