My Year of Rest and Relaxation

by Ottessa Moshfegh

Extraterrestrials could have invaded, locusts could have swarmed, and I would have noted it, but I wouldn’t have worried.

Me on sertraline

It’s like I’m in hell.” “Hell? I can give you something for that,”

we had bonded without my knowledge or consent and, all of a sudden, I loved him.

Reva had always been good at hugs. I felt like a praying mantis in her arms.

Lmao

Watching Star Trek as an adolescent was when I first came to regard Whoopi Goldberg with the reverence she deserves.

surfed the channels. A commercial for cat food. A commercial for home saunas. A commercial for low-fat butter. Fabric softener. Potato chips in individually portioned packages. Chocolate yogurt. Go to Greece, the birthplace of civilization. Drinks that give you energy. Face cream that makes you younger. Fish for your kitties. Coca-Cola means “I love you.” Sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world. Ice cream is not just for children, ladies: your husbands like it, too! If your house smells like shit, light this candle that smells like freshly baked brownies.