First, incarnational listening is not a matter of agreeing with what the person is saying. The purpose of incarnational listening is not finding the solution to a problem. (Although research does show that up to 70 percent of problems can be solved through listening.) Problem solving, or clean fighting as we call it, requires a different emotionally healthy skill. Second, be warned that speaking and listening in order to enter the world of another requires strong character and emotional maturity—especially when the other person is saying something with which we disagree or something negative
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