Decide who will speak first and who will listen first. When you are the speaker . . . • Speak using “I” statements. (Talk about your thoughts, feelings, and desires.) • Keep your statements brief. • Stop occasionally to let the other person paraphrase what you’ve said. • Include feelings in your statements. • Be respectful, honest, and clear. When you are the listener . . . • Give the speaker your full attention (don’t be thinking about what you want to say next). • Step into the speaker’s shoes and try to feel what they are feeling. • Avoid judging or interpreting. • Reflect back, or
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