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“Listen, coffee maker, I know you think you’re the shit because you’re bougie as hell, but let’s keep it real. You have one job—to make coffee—and, bitch, right now you’re sucking at it. You should be ashamed. What would all the other coffee makers have to say about your attitude?” I growl as I try for the hundredth time to make this damn machine work.
“I want to have your babies,” I state matter-of-factly, opening my blissed-out gaze and leveling an arduous look on the coffee machine. Rogan barks out a laugh. “Should I leave the two of you alone?” he teases. “Please don’t, you know she only puts out for me because you tell her to,” I plead, and he laughs even harder.
