Well, this Sucks

by Carrie Gray

I felt like that one time I tried running a marathon to impress the male model I was fucking. I puked up my dinner from the night before on the last mile, my nipples bled, and my poor body felt like it was thrown in a fucking blender. Running was for crazy people, and I’d stuck to walking ever since.

Shock sounded about right. I had a mantra that had served me well over the years: Avoid a mental breakdown by never stopping to realize you’re having a mental breakdown.

What if I didn’t like donuts anymore? That would be a travesty.

“To those of you who don’t already know her, I would like to introduce Drew Lane, the newest member of the royal court,” Diego announced to the table. “She’s currently going through orientation and doing very well. We believe that she will fit into our society seamlessly, becoming an invaluable member of the coven.” Oh good, now Diego was straight up lying.

Rocky let out a huff. “Lady Drew, your restraint is incredible. Any normal fledgling wouldn’t be able to handle being in an enclosed room with humans, let alone hugging them.” “Well, I’m not a normal fledgling. I’m Drew Lane, vampire extraordinaire.” Rocky grunted, which was his way of saying, Like, omg, you are totally extraordinary, Drew. Let’s get our nails done next week and drink mimosas on the beach.