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You see, no good stroke of luck would have Smith Redfield be the first familiar person I lay eyes on when I stepped foot in the Hamptons. Because the only thing worse than spending the summer without the boyfriend who just dumped you and literally took off for another country, is spending it with his sex-on-a-stick best friend. Who also happens to hate every single one of your guts.
I’ll have to admit that the minute Justin introduced her to me a year ago, I understood. It clicked. I know what it feels like to fall in love at first sight. Because I did, with her. And then she went on to fall in love with my best friend.
Plan for the summer? Spend as much time as possible cocktailing with Heather, and avoid Smith at all costs.
Narrator: She is not going to avoid Smith.
I can’t explain the feeling that came over me the first time I laid eyes on Molly. It wasn’t a bolt of lightning; the room didn’t fade into tones of pink and red. There were no bells chiming in my ears. No, it was a slow, fuzzy feeling that took over my brain, my heart. It was if my whole being just said, “Ah, there she is. I found her,” and it all just clicked into place.
Not only has my best friend been there, but now, I’m in no place to love someone the way she deserves to be loved.
We love a self aware king
“You’re an asshole, you know that? I wouldn’t have complained, or even bragged about something positive like a nice man trying to take me out, much less a drunk guy creepily hitting on me in a bar. As if I’ve ever even confided in you. No, the only thing I’ve ever tried to do is be cordial, even when you were all but spitting in my face. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it’s me who thinks sharing a house with you is the seventh circle of hell? You sure are a miserable, selfish jerk, Smith.”
Go off queen.
I’m in love with my best friend’s girl, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to make her see that I’m the one she should be with.
Have you considered not being an asshole?
He reaches over, so close to me, and plucks my ChapStick off the sink. Pulling off the cap as he keeps full eye
contact with me, he proceeds to smear the vanilla-flavored balm on his lips.
Why am I attracted to this?
It’s funny how every time we interact, with each instance I come in contact with Smith, I forget all about my broken heart. And start wondering what it would be like if it beat for him.
But the biggest reason this infatuation with Smith Redfield can go no further? He’s made it extremely clear that he loathes me.
“He’s an idiot for letting you go.” The sentence hangs between us, and my heart hammers against my ribcage. I didn’t mean for it to sound so … romantic. But it did. And now I can’t take it back, not that I’m scrambling to pull it out of the air and shove the words back down my throat. Maybe, like Marta said, it’s time to take my shot. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Molly whispers.
Smith looks like a panther who has just caught his prey. “I have no idea why you think any man wouldn’t kill to be with you. I just can’t …”
This was the kiss of a man who had waited for more than three hundred and sixty-five days to take this woman’s mouth. This was a kiss with all of the emotions and passion I’d been locking away inside my heart while she fell in love with my best friend. This was the kiss of a starving person, one who thought they’d never get this chance, and one who was pouring everything into it because he may never get this chance again.
“Why? Because we’re alone out here and I can think of only one thing I want to do.” I advance a little on her. She backs up, looking startled. “Why are you flirting with me? I don’t get it, you hate me.” Molly sounds dumfounded.
I have to chuckle, because it’s so far from what I feel about her. “If only that were the case.” “Smith, you have tormented me and belittled me for an entire year. I’m not even sure you know a decent thing about me.”
“Because I’ve listened to you for the last three hundred and sixty-five odd days. Every time you spoke, I digested that small piece of information as if it was food and I was a starving man. I want to know everything about you, Molly. But you were with my best friend. What was I supposed to do?”
“I’ve waited a year, I can wait for you to wrap your head around this.” Molly hunches over a little, an absurd laugh breaking free of her throat. “This is the strangest revelation I’ve ever had.” “I could kiss you again. Maybe it would make it clearer?” I switch back to my flirty, seductive voice. “Get out of here.” She rolls her eyes before walking back inside, leaving me on the porch with the packages.
“Well, why are you even here? You knew I was working, so you wanted me to wait on you?” That idea stings even more than him coming here on a date with another woman. Smith drops his head to his chest, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “I can see now that my plan really was not thought out. I should have just asked to come over to your apartment, cooked you dinner or brought you flowers. I just … I wanted to see you. I thought this might be a good way.”
“Fine, but you have to agree to something else, then.”
“And what’s that?” I smile, directing it to Gianna who looks at her brother in anticipation. “A date. With me. This weekend.” It’s like he’s daring me.
“Okay. I will.”
YES FINALLY
And I just want some time for us. I don’t want to share our connection with other people, or invite their criticism or opinions on us dating. For a little while, I just want to stay in the bubble with you. Can we have our bubble, even if for just a moment?”
“We’re going to whoop their asses.” Smith winks at me, and my heart skips a beat. A man like that should not be allowed to wink at an innocently unassuming woman.
“It’s not my fault your perky ass is on full display, bent over every time a serve is coming toward you,” Smith whispers. It probably looks like we’re having a quick team pow-wow to discuss strategy, when in reality, the man is initiating me in foreplay in plain view of five other people. This flirty, friendly version of Smith is way more dangerous than the guy who used to hate me. Or pretend to, according to him.
“If we go in there, I won’t be able to stop at just a kiss, Molly. I’ve waited a long time for this, for you. I’m not trying to pressure you, but I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep. If we go in there, I want all of you. I want you under me, moaning my name. I want to feel it when you come with me deep inside you, and I want you to look me in the eyes when you unravel. I’ve thrown you for a lot of loops, I know that. But I’m asking you to trust me once more. And know that I would never … I will never hurt you. Not in there, and not in here.”
Wow wow wow bestie.
It’s all or nothing with Molly; I had to actively work on hating her so I didn’t profess my love when she could never feel the same way. Now she can feel that way, and I can’t pretend anymore. I want everything with her.
“Smith,” She moans after a while, and Jesus Christ, does it sound like heaven when she groans my name like that.
Molly comes wordlessly, her body shivering with pleasure, her head tipped back into the pillow. She looks like a work of art, something that should be housed in the most famous of museums. Every time I think of delight, of bliss, this is the moment I’ll recall from this point on.
He was pretty damn convincing that he loathed me. But the minute he told me how he felt, it was like a switch flipped inside me. My heart tilted its gaze and thought, “oh, there he is.” I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before, but with each passing day, conversation, and intimate moment, it’s becoming clearer that there may truly be a lasting relationship between me and him. One that could surpass any I’ve ever had before, including the one I had with his best friend.
“No, you’re supposed to sit there looking gorgeous and then let me get you naked after dinner. Don’t you know how dating works?” Smith winks at me as he brings the first tinfoil-covered bowl over to the table. “That’s your version of dating.” I smirk at him. “And it’s the only version of dating you’re doing, so get with the program.” He bends to kiss me, slipping his tongue in and surprising me. A warm feeling spreads over my chest and abdomen, and I kind of want to skip right to the naked part.
swear, she goes through five novels a week, and it’s damn impressive. I never thought I could be turned on by a girl’s reading habits, but here we are.
Give me a man who appreciates my reading habits.
“I was afraid if you didn’t do something soon, I was going to have to give you a stern talking to.” She presses up on her toes to plant a kiss on my cheek. “A stern talking to?” I chuckle, because this woman couldn’t be more adorable. “Most women would slap me in the face.”
“Oh my God, you guys are such hornballs. I love it.” Jacinda cackles. “You know what? I think you’re perfect together.” Her words make my lips break out in a goofy, huge smile. It feels like we’ve been covering things up for a while, afraid of what everyone else will think, and it’s comforting to know that they’re in support of this. “I do, too,” Smith whispers in my ear, for only me to hear. And that? That makes my heart break into a goofy, huge smile.
“You’re doing everything you can. Sometimes, it’s not enough, but that’s not on you. That’s just on this shitty world. You’re the most giving person I know. Way better than me. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve to breathe the same air as you.”
“That is not your fault. Every man should make sure, guarantee, that the woman he’s sleeping with has an orgasm. Every. Single. Time.”
He sinks down onto the planks of the balcony right in front of me, like some kind of orgasm white knight.
Where can I find my own personal orasm white knight?
“Well, I have to remedy that for my girl. You will never be left unsatisfied.” “Your girl, huh?” I smirk against my suddenly dry lips.
“I could watch you come for the rest of my life. Any man who doesn’t know the pleasure of watching that … he’s a fucking moron. You’re incredible.”
“I know you didn’t mean it like that. It doesn’t mean I haven’t thought of it like that.” I lower my face, almost touching the tip of my nose to hers. “You have?” Those big hazel eyes blink in shock. “I told you, Molly, I’m serious when it comes to you. Maybe not that serious yet,” I nod in the direction of Jacinda and Peter, “but someday soon? Yeah. I’d like to get married.”
My head simply bobs at the comparison, because he knows. Anyone who has met the human who feels like the other half of their soul understands. That’s what Molly is for me.
Brb crying the club
“The fact that your sister isn’t here on your shared birthday has nothing to do with the woman you’re in love with. And are possibly about to lose. You want her? Go fight for her. Don’t let that slimy, Singapore son-of-a-bitch get her back.”
“No, I didn’t get back together with Justin. But the fact that it’s the first thing on your mind, the only thing of concern, is really telling. You’re more worried about this competition you have with your friend, rather than the love you say you have for me. Someone who loves another person doesn’t say the things you did the other night. And they don’t leave them hanging, without explanation, without apology. This was never about who I was going to choose. I chose you, from the minute I
stepped foot in this house. Before I even realized it was you I was meant to be with. Once you kissed me, I never thought of anyone else. But you’re fueled by this envy, and you act on rage. I deserve better than that.”
But I promised myself after Justin that I would never be that weak for a man ever again. And so I pick myself up every day, despite my broken heart, and try to hold my head high.
Make him grovel sis
didn’t lose you to him. I didn’t lose you to anyone but my own horrible actions. I’m so fucking sorry, Molly. I lost you because I was a selfish, grief-clouded prick who couldn’t see past his own needs to take care of your heart. My brain was all fucked up from your relationship with Justin, from losing my sister, from fearing that I loved you more than you could love me. But none of that matters, it doesn’t. It’s just bullshit. The one thing that remains is that I love you, and I know you, to your core. You’re the best woman, not to mention person, I’ve ever known. Everything you touch is
...more
“No, not without hesitation. But yes, because you love me.” I lean in, our noses practically touching. “And I’ll just break down and do it. Because … I love you.” She shrugs, as if she can’t help it.
“Noted.” Smith’s blue eyes dance with amusement. “Heather, this is Campbell, my business partner.”
Need their book ASAP
“This night is going to be a whirlwind, so I apologize if I can’t be with you every second. But before we get sucked into the crowd, I have to tell you, I am so in love with you, Molly.”
Molly shows me that she’s the very best of humanity each and every day, and I often feel I don’t measure up.
C R Y I N G
