Behind the Scenes

by Christina C. Jones

Being at odds with somebody you love is a waste of time. It’s one thing to need a few hours to cool off – even a day, you know? But if you’re comfortable withholding attention and affection for longer than that, over something that could be solved by a conversation – or even better, by you not being a fucking bully? There’s something wrong there. And if you’re on the receiving end of that, you shouldn’t be letting it ride. Whether it’s friends, family, romantic, whatever. They’ve gotta put their shit to the side when it comes to your life.

Moving forward, since it didn’t seem to be a top priority for any of the people it should be important to… I would put myself in charge of looking out for me.

You don’t know what dreams she’s been scared to tell anybody about.”

Mediocre white folks got rewarded for wack shit all the time, why shouldn’t she?

“Well, you count your lucky stars that the last guy didn’t play his cards right. And you hope that you do.”

“Being able to follow the exact directives of a map charted by someone else is a great opportunity – a great resource – for someone who wants the same things that other person wanted. But that’s not who I am. You raised a smart, self-sufficient, curious, ambitious woman who wants to find a way for herself. You can’t see the beauty in that?”

Love doesn’t ask you to suffer for it. Love doesn’t require your misery. Love desires your wholeness. Love doesn’t see you hurting and begging to be seen and decide that’s an acceptable state. If your love and attention require that I fall in line to live a life I barely want to wake up to… I don’t want anything to do with that.”

Becoming an adult – or apparently, even a parent – didn’t make you magically equipped to handle certain emotions and disappointments, so… sometimes it ended up coming out wrong, expressed in the worst possible of ways.

feeling what you were feeling instead of rushing to try to fix it or not feel it anymore.