it is possible to press on when each side is locked into a defensive position. It can still feel messy, but you can stop the escalation in order to separate out the intertwined issues. If that doesn’t work, you can temporarily set aside the content of the argument to ask, “What’s going on—why are we stuck?” This allows you to process how you got into the swamp in the first place and how you can productively move forward to the dry ground.
